LUCENT

15

NADIRA

"What are you reading?" I asked Tayyib as I leaned against the door frame of his office.

He takes off his glasses and sinks back into the one-seater couch. "The Iliad," he responds, holding out his hand, which I walk forward and take. Swiftly, he pulls me into his lap.

My heart rate picks up, and I focus on the book. I could feel his eyes on me as my face flooded with colour. His lap felt warm but not uncomfortable.

"I prefer the Odyssey," I chime, grazing the book's cover. "The way the story switches its tone from sorrowful to delightful as Odysseus gets closer to home makes it a better experience than the Iliad."

He hums and places the book on the end table adjacent before placing his left hand on the small of my back and resting his right on my exposed thigh.

"Rage, sorrow, betrayal, revenge. All the emotions enclosed in the Iliad. They resonate with me," he says, brushing his thumb against me. The cold touch of his rings made me shiver.

I turn to face him. His eyes had sunken a bit, and his jaw was clenched. "Do you have a lot of anger?" I ask.

"Yes, Nadira," he replies, maintaining eye contact.

"Towards who?" I whisper. I am hesitant to ask, so I do not strike uncharted territory.

He takes in a breath and cups my face. "That is a conversation for another day." His face falls for a second before he smiles brightly and kisses my cheek. It was apparent there was something he wasn't telling me, but I didn't want to push. Whenever he's ready, I'll be willing to listen.

I smile back at him and rest my head on his chest. "Anger can be good sometimes."

"Not my anger."

"Why?"

"It is rooted in the need for control."

"What do you want to control?"

"Everything."

TAYYIB

Control: the power to influence or direct people's behaviour or the course of events.

Once my father passed, my eyes quickly opened to the world around me. I no longer lived in a bubble of protection. I was exposed to the evilness and greed of humankind.

I lived every day from then on, uncertain of what the future would foresee. Granted, that is how we live most of our lives, as only Allah was all-knowing, but with his death, it became even worse.

Fear ran deep within my bones as I sat here with an angel curled into my lap. It chilled me to my core. I dreaded a day that I would not be able to protect her.

I could feel it eating away at me. Soon, it would swallow me whole, and I would have nothing to give her.

I should not have gotten this close. I should have thought it through better. But I cannot turn back now. Her scent alone drove me mad. Her intelligence and beauty were magnetic.

I can't let her go.

I won't.

"What are we going to do today?" She asks, poking my neck harshly.