LUCENT

37

Allahumma aslih ahwaalal-muslimeena fi filisteen, Allahumma aslih ahwaalal-muslimeena fi filisteena wa fi kulli makaanin ya dhul-jalali wal-ikraam. 

Ameen. 

Pray for Gaza, Congo and Sudan. 

NADIRA

I sat with the girls on the bleachers as the guys and their friends played polo. It wasn't serious, just a friendly game. We had nothing to do today, so we came to watch. I kept my eyes trained on Tayyib as he played. He seemed so focused yet out of it.

Last night, when I returned to the room, I found the door open and Tayyib sleeping on the right side. I allowed him to have space and braved the night without his touch. In the morning, he was gone. 

"It's so sunny," Laila complained, shielding her eyes with her phone. 

"You should have worn sunglasses," Amna replied.

I sigh and cross my arms. "When does this end?" I ask, bored of it already. 

"They've played four chukkers already, so pretty soon," Kausar answers, and I groan and slump back into my seat. 

About thirty minutes later, the match had finally ended. The girls went onto the field to take pictures, but I couldn't because Tayyib had left immediately after the bell rang, so I hung out with Owais and Junaid for a while and rode home with them. 

Once at home, I changed out of my gown and put on a beige lounge set. I had lunch, watched five episodes of The Walking Dead, and fell asleep on the couch. 

I woke up to shuffling sounds and figured Tayyib was back. I sprung up from the couch and rushed into the entryway. He stared at me with an indecipherable expression as I walked in. I couldn't point my finger at what his eyes were saying either. He just looked distant. Like he was here but not her at the same time. 

"Do I get a hug today?" I asked with a hopeful voice, but he just kept staring. 

My shoulders sag, and I step forward. "I know I haven't done anything, and we didn't have an argument, so why are you acting like this?" I ask exasperatedly. 

"I'm sorry. I'm just not myself right now, Nadira," he says, and I roll my eyes. 

"What does that have to do with me? Why are you acting this way towards me?" I question.

He runs a hand down his face and sighs. "I have my reasons. Just trust me, please," he pleads.

I scoff and laugh humourlessly. "Trust you? You want me to just accept this? Pretend like you're not treating me like I'm the plague? Can you hear yourself?" I snap, placing my hands on my hips. 

"I know it is stupid for me to ask, but it has to be this way, Nadira. I'm sorry," he replies. 

I let out a frustrated breath. "I didn't ask for a fucking apology. I'm asking for an explanation. Please tell me what's wrong. That's all I want. I want to know if you're hurting," I tell him. 

I didn't mean to snap at him. But the way he was acting and my period were not at all helping.  I just wanted him to confide in me. Whatever is bothering him is obviously taking a toll on him. 

"I'm sorry, Nadira," he says, then heads up the stairs. 

I watch him with glossy eyes before yelling out, "I'm not sleeping with you tonight! You can lock yourself in your room and keep your stupid worries to yourself, you selfish piece of shit! I don't fucking care!"