A Mother's Mistakes

Chapter 39

POV: Siana Rossi

I was hurting physically and emotionally I couldn't get pregnant anymore that was taken away from me it wasn't my choice and it killed me inside the physical part my body was in pain i couldn't walk with out sitting down I couldn't even stand without hissing.

I felt weak while I was in a coma it was a battle with myself I saw the same thing over and over never anything new it was me not being able to save Gino and it was scary I just wanted to wake up but I couldn't it's like I was forced to take it I hated it so much.

Matteo went to take Gino for fresh air my son talked my ear off everyday but I always listen he would even feed me sometimes it made me happy but when I was alone I was left with those thoughts again i didn't like it I was alive but Sofia wasn't I should't be feeling like this i should be grateful that I'm living.

My thoughts stopped when my door opened revealing Eleanor Matteo's mother I haven't really talked to her since that night it was weird we all thought she was dead and she wasn't Sofia looked just like her.

" how are you?" She asked me as she took a seat close to me

" honestly not so good I- I hate it" I told her

" I know that feeling not able to get pregnant anymore...." I looked at her surprised.

" how?"

" well a lot of people hated that vin chose me so some um people took it upon themselves to make sure i didn't have anymore kids after Sofia and Matteo i felt like the worst person in the world I was depressed and it wasn't an easy fix but i had my husband by my side always"

And that's exactly how I was feeling

" i don't want to though i have to be there for my child and Matteo i can't afford to feel like this"

" you never healed Siana I'm not saying you don't be there for Gino but you need to heal your going into a state and it's okay you're not alone let Matteo help let him have some of those responsibilities" she told me

I nodded my head as she hugged me i felt like I cried so much now I just couldn't stop I was hurting and it wasn't going to go away with a snap of my finger no matter if I wanted to it wasn't and I was going to have to deal with it.

The door opened again showing Matteo he saw me crying and immediately looked to his mother.

" what did you say to her?"

" something i needed to hear we need to talk" i interjected before he could think his mom made me sad no I've been sad since I woke up.

Eleanor kissed me on the head before leaving out the room leaving me and Matteo he set down taking my hand.

" what's wrong?"

" I'm not okay Matteo mentally I need time I need to overcome the fact i can't have kids and just stuff inside me I'm not okay I'm sad i feel weak I feel so alone I know I'm not but it's what's going on inside my head I need to think about myself right now" i said breathing heavy

" I'm here every step of the way ride or die I'm ready for the hard days heal Siana really heal for you and no one else" Matteo said i had a good fiancé.

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And that's exactly what I did I healed it was hard I fell into a depression sometimes i didn't even want to do anything and i didn't I just layed there I wanted to do something but I couldn't.