Dark and twisty love

Coward part 2

"Oh Derek" she said sitting down next to me and putting her hand around me
"Meredith I should eh go I feel like I'm not wanted" I replied
"No Derek you are wanted here just because you took some space doesn't mean I don't love you so I want you here"
"So you don't blame me"
"For what?"
"Well for not noticing that there was something wrong"
"Derek sweetie that could of happened to anyone" she said putting her head in the space between my neck and shoulder
"But could it have I'm a neurosurgeon Meredith we're both doctors and we didn't see the signs" I said getting up and slightly raising my voice
"Oh Derek it's ok to blame yourself I sat in the hospital reception for 7 hours yesterday staring at a wall blaming myself so it's ok" she got up and pulled me in but as soon as I wrapped my arms around her I broke down but then realised I couldn't do it anymore
"I'm so so sorry Mer but I have to do this" I said pulling away then walking back towards my car
"Derek where the hell are you going you can't leave your wife and kids to grieve on their own" thatcher shouted from the step
"What just like you did, you don't know how much me and Mer have been through the last few years our whole first 3-4 years of marriage consisted of arguments and trying for a baby. I could of left but I didn't do you know why it's because I love that woman. Mer and the kids are the only people I love so much that it hurts when I leave the house in the morning but with you thatcher you run into one slight problem and you run" I raised my voice at him
"Your still running Derek your nothing but a coward" he said punching me in protection of Meredith so I punched him back a few times before jackson pulled me away but I walked over to Meredith
"I'll be home in a few days I just need to take some space I'm gonna go visit Sam and Addie to clear my head" I said holding her face
"Ok Derek I'll see you soon I love you and stay safe"
"I love you too" I pulled her in for a long kiss then set off.