Any Extent- Kenma Kozume

48- Candid thoughts

The morning was dreadful.
Simply awakening in your own bedroom in your own house deviated your mood significantly.
But seeing your parents faces in the morning truly made it worse.

It caused you to reflect on how content you were to wake up to Kenmas restful expression as he lay in slumber.

His warm body.

Peaceful appearance that made him almost look innocent.

His tender, pink lips.

Even his scent that sometimes overstayed it's welcome on the bedsheets. You were never mad at it though.

Nevertheless, now the only sense you could detect was your parents poisonous anger swarming your house violently.

It was precisely a little mistake you made this morning that made worse, worser. You had left a singular bowl in the sink because you were in a rush. And this was all due to looking for your fathers red tie for him. He was not satisfied with his grey, or black one, he was stern in the fact that he wanted his red tie that was missing.

It was like he was doing it on purpose.

This overtook most of your morning and additionally ended in a rant from your over angered mother recounting how insensible you were.

She always had time and energy to belittle you, snatching any opportunity to let you know how much of a disappointment you were to her.

You walked into your math class late, apologising to Miss Endo. She wasn't one to make a big deal out of things like tardiness, especially not towards you, knowingly being a keen student.

Kenma, with his chin lazily in his palm glanced up at you from his seat at the very front row of the classroom.

You purposefully ignored his gaze, heading down the column of students until you were at the back of the classroom, where your desk was located.

You exhaled your frustrations trying to appoint your focus to Miss Endos lesson until a whisper would disrupt your attempt.

"So, I don't even get a hi anymore?" Harina questioned in a sour tone, bending her eyebrows in a way that foreground her offence.

Truthfully, you distinguished her presence, but was in one of those absent minded states where the execution of things perform in your head and not in actuality.

"Sorry..sorry. Hi Harina," you let free another deep exhale. Her expression quickly softened and she reached out a hand to you. She rubbed her warm palm against the skin of your hand becoming suddenly compassionate towards you.

"Shit, forgot. Are you ok—

"Fine, fine just tired," you forced a smile. You were more than tired, more than angry, more than upset, but leading a rant, first period in Miss Endos classroom you were already late to was not looking like a viable option.

"I'll buy you some hot chocolate after class, ok?" Her hand rested there.

You forced another smile to Harina, but one communicating your appreciation towards her concern.

Halfway through the class you had the urge to use the bathroom. While on your minuscule walk through the hallways to the destination you came the the realisation that this was one of the only times in the past 24 hrs you felt somewhat untroubled.

You found the emptiness of the hallway comforting. Like you could really take a breath of fresh air and think, you could compose those overwhelming feelings and thoughts just for a moment.

it was a little depressing to think the school hallway was now becoming your safe place.

The reality was it gave you room to breathe, rather than your soul-sucking household that made you feel small and predominantly everything less than what you were.