Fart story one-shots 2!

GROSS PHEROMONES PT. 02

My name is Emily, and I'm a gross person.

There's something bizarre about my digestive system: I produce a pheromone that makes people horny, and whenever I poop or fart I release it into the air. I'm not immune to my own scent, either.

I don't release my pheromones carelessly. I'd never want to see my little sisters getting horny, for example. So when we're on a long car ride together, I have to clench my sphincter shut, watch what I eat, and even force myself to stay awake, since I know I sometimes fart in my sleep.

Vacations are especially hard. With small hotel rooms and no privacy, I don't get many chances to poop. I'm sometimes forced to hold it in for three or four days at a time, just to avoid any weird sexual moments.

The incident I'm about to relate happened on a vacation, actually. It was a few weeks after my last story, and I was visiting my friend Kat at her college out of state.

At this point, Kat was living off-campus in a small apartment. It was fall break, and all her roommates were gone, so we had the place to ourselves.

I came to visit on a Thursday afternoon, and we spent the first two days catching up. I showed her my new tattoo - I was filling out my left shoulder at the time - and Kat talked endlessly about the new guy she liked.

Derek was the guy's name. She'd been trying to seduce him for weeks, she said, but hadn't gotten anywhere yet. She begged me to play Cupid for them. Nobody knew about my weird sex-farts, of course, but I had a reputation for helping people hook up.

So we took Derek out to a crowded bar on Friday night. Kat worked her seduction skills pretty hard, while I released a couple of silent farts. I didn't feel any effects, though; I couldn't even smell it. I think the bar was too crowded for the gas to reach us properly.

"I really wanted to wear something strapless tonight," Kat cooed to Derek at one point, "but I'm not sure my boobs are big enough. I dunno, what do you think?" She squeezed her tits practically in Derek's face, showing off the deep cleavage in her half-unbuttoned shirt.

Derek just made a face, and I nudged Kat in the ribs: go easy, hotshot.

He bailed on us shortly afterwards, and Kat groaned as we walked home alone. "Is it me?" she asked. "I haven't had sex in like a year... am I just ugly?"

"Don't be silly," I said. Kat was perhaps the best-looking person I knew, and I told her so. She was in great shape, she could pull off any outfit she wanted, and she had a body that would drive any straight guy crazy. During the last year, she'd developed a cool alternative vibe that made her even sexier: lots of button-down shirts, old jeans, and deep red lipstick. Even though I'm straight, I know a gorgeous woman when I see one.

"...And not only are you super-hot," I went on, "but you're also smart and tough and hilarious and a great friend. You're totally awesome."

"I knew I kept you around for something," Kat laughed.

The next day was Saturday, and I was approaching three days without pooping. I felt stuffed and bloated, and my insides were cramping. So when Kat checked her email and realized she had a meeting that day, I was secretly overjoyed.

"I'm really sorry," she said, as she pulled her shoes on. "I'm starting this group project. I promised I'd meet my partner at the library."

"It's totally fine," I said.

"I feel bad leaving you, though."

"I was planning to take a nap anyway," I lied. "I won't even know you're gone."

Finally, I got Kat out the door. I waited five minutes, just in case she forgot something, and then I settled onto the toilet.

Some people are easy poopers. Kat, for example, had no problem taking a dump whenever she felt like it. She'd gone a few times already during my visit. She even announced it sometimes: "Hold on, Emily - I have to poo." But she only took a couple of minutes, and the smell didn't linger long.