Fart story one-shots 2!

[Fire Emblem 3H] Spooky Stalls and The Noblest Doody

This is a combined story, ill separate them with a line to completely find the distinction 

-Story Archiver

This was a collaboration with PK's Sensual Sauna! A great writer and a great second hand in this story.

Also; contains a bit of the medieval toilet stuff. Keep away if you ain't into that.

If there was one place that defined the Garreg Mach Monastery, and perhaps the entire continent of Fodlan, it was the mess hall. Here, hundreds of Academy students and soldiers laid back and relaxed as meals from all across the world were cooked for their leisure. Of course, not every day was a cuisine miracle; after all, these young minds were training to become officers, not chefs. And some days especially had their mishaps.

A student sauntered through the mess hall, two bowls sloshing with curry in her hand. A few heads turned to watch her go, some expressions full of amusements, others of horror. Her uniform sleeves were rolled up, splotches of orange sauce spattered against her pale skin. Her auburn locks were undone, one of her pigtails loosely hanging from a broken hairpin. And despite the odd scorch mark on her cheek, she beamed with an excited energy, pale green eyes wide with joy and perhaps a little magic as well. She triumphantly marched past the bewildered students towards a table, where an old friend was waiting.

"Mercedes!" she grinned, taking a seat across the table from another student and set the bowls down, "Behold; Chef Annette's latest masterpiece!"

Mercedes smiled plainly at her best friend. Compared to the youthful little sprite, she was quite the contrast. A half decade older than Annette, she had a motherly aura about her, the shawl wrapped around her shoulders hid her matured form. Her platinum blonde hair was so long, it almost covered her face. But with the help of a neat brown ribbon, she exposed her calm and genial beauty.

"It looks delicious," her soft, soothing voice washed over the mess hall, making a few nearby students falter in their conversations, "I'm very impressed, Annie."

"Come on!" Annette banged the table with her fists eagerly, "Try some! Tell me what you think!"

"Well, if you insist..." Mercedes took the spoon at her side and took a helping of the curry in the bowl. Raising it to her lips, she took a bite. Her eyes widened for a moment, "Oh! This has quite the kick to it!"

A shadow fell on Annette's expression, "You don't like it?"

"No, no its quite good! I'm just surprised. I thought you didn't like spicy food."

The cook tilted her head a bit, "Weelll, I normally don't. But the professor wanted me to help cook with them. I was so passionate while making this curry, I kinda put one too many spices in it."

Mercedes nodded, swallowing her portion of food, "Well, its much better than the last time you got 'passionate' with your food. Putting sugar in a fish pie wasn't the best idea."

"Guess not, huh?"

"How come you aren't eating your own helping, Annie?"

Annette glanced down at her own bowl, "Hm? Oh, I had one with the professor earlier. Just a taste test at first, but It was so good, I had to have more of it. I couldn't possibly eat another bowl. This is for Felix, if he ever gets out of the training grounds. If not, then maybe someone else would like to try."

As they had their meal, another student drifted alongside them, taking a seat next to Mercedes. She was shorter than the both of them, with bouncy white hair and a childlike wonder to her. She didn't seem too interested in talking with them, her only concern was the massive slice of frosted cake that was on her plate.