Fart story one-shots 2!

Pit's Guide to Smash

Ah, Skyworld. Land of Gods and Angels alike, although it was rife with travelers of many different calibers. Compared to the overworld below and the dreary underworld even further below, this was a paradise among the clouds. Nestled on a thousand nebulas, shimmering palaces and elaborate statues dotted the sky. Centurions and other Angels hovered about, guarding their home from any threat that dared enter their domain. But despite their effortless work, it was clear that this paradise had not gone without battle. Scorch marks spattered the white marble, columns cleaved in half by devastating blows.

In the center of Skyworld was Palutena. The ruler of this land and the Goddess of Light, everything revolved around her. This time, the Goddess was sitting on her throne in the center of her Palace. In one hand was holding her winged staff, the orb on its tip glowing with powerful magic. In her other was... a device with a glowing screen. Palutena winced as the screen showed her a vision of two warriors fighting in an arena, one of them getting thrown off the stage. But why would the Goddess of the Dawn be watching cage matches?

See, Skyworld was among the many places selected as an arena for the challengers that traveled to and from dimensions. Its place above the clouds made it a scenic, if not perilous, place for these fighters to test their mettle. And who better to make an example of Skyworld's tenacity than its Captain of the Guard?

From the dim corner of the chamber, a set of doors materialized out of thin air. The rush of wind blew back Palutena's green hair, yet she sat there unflinching. Opening, an Angel clothed in a singed tunic tumbled out of the entrance, which quickly closed behind him. Slowly, he got up with a groan. His tousled hair was even more tangled, shellacked by what looked like a gale boomerang. His guardian orbitars were slightly dented from the blows of an equally magical sword. The halo on his head was a bit tilted.

Palutena looked up from her phone, "Wow, you look like you've had a rough day."

"You should have seen the other guy." The Angel contested, dusting himself off and picking up his orbitars

"I did." she beckoned to him with her phone, "You still got your butt kicked."

Pit slunk towards Palutena, his shoulders sagging slightly. "Aww, Lady Palutena; this isn't as easy as you'd think. Maybe being a god and all makes this kinda stuff easier-"
"It does." she confirmed. Setting down her phone, she licked her fingers and began straightening his hair, styling it into the spiky crown that he always sported.

"-but what about me? Isn't there any holy relic you could send? Ooh! Or maybe a Lightning Chariot."

The Goddess laughed, adjusting his laurel, "No, Pit. Powerful relics of the gods must be used with respect and care." Looking at her angel, an idea began to spark in her godly mind. Omniscience and divine powers do make for good ideas. A grin broke onto her face.

As she patted down his tunic and wiped away the soot, Pit couldn't see the mischievous glint in her eyes, "But I do know a way to help you fare better in your later matches." she offered.

Pit looked up at Palutena with anticipation, hoping to see what she was bringing to help him. She closed her eyes, but she still kept that heavenly smile, her aura never changing. Slowly, he began to deduce the solution that she was going to bring.

"It's fighting other opponents, isn't it?" he grumbled.

Palutena leaned forwards, putting a pristine hand on his shoulder. "Relax! I'll be by your side the entire time." she giggled, "Don't worry, it'll be easier than Palutena's boot camp."

He protested, although the hand on his shoulder was already veering him away from his point, "Well, everything's easier than Palutena's Boot Camp... Lady Palutena."