Fart story one-shots 2!

Party Poots (Implied Scat)

It's not every day you end up asleep on your friends couch and wake up to a bodacious woman ripping farts into your crotch. Granted, it isn't an unwelcome occurrence either. Just unexpected.

I checked my holowatch, watching the seconds go by. How long had it been since I spoke with the last person at the door? Understandably, the dorms didn't let anybody in. You had to have at least one friend that knew your name to enter parties. There were a few underclassmen who stared at the massive building, watching the pulsating lights through the windows with jealousy. For the longest time, I used to have the same sentiment, wondering what wild times people were having within the massive halls and multi-level lounges that the upperclassmen dorms held. Luckily for me, my best friend was one of the hosts.

The door opened, the once muffled pumping bass from within the house now actively pulsing through my bones. The man who opened the door could have been Vera City's largest bouncer. Biceps bigger than my head and a neck thicker than the columns lining the entrance, he was a proper definition of a beefcake. Despite his grizzled and tough look, he broke into a childish grin at the sight of me, "Watashi!" he exclaimed. He wrapped his massive arms around me, crushing me in a bear hug, "Is that really you?"

I groaned until he released me, tapping his back with the same sentiment as a hug, "In the flesh and cybernetics, Mathias." Rubbing my shoulders I gave him a tired grin, "The store closes early today anyways so I figured I would drop by, enjoy some of the festivities."

"Thank goodness! I mean, what kind of person works on their graduation night?"

"Naw, fuck that." I jabbed him in the arm. I considered myself average in strength, but I could feel my bones quiver at the touch of his massive muscles, "You think I would flake out on Mathias Gurdur's graduation party? I wouldn't miss this for the world."

He guffawed, clapping me on the back and concurrently bruising me, "I appreciate that, dude. Come on, the party's barely started. Let's get some fire in the veins."

University parties were always wild, but this one was a special case. The Globe District was one of the best places in the city to have a good time, especially the dorms. A massive housing complex in the center of the Globe, most of the upper halls of the massive structure were now reserved for end of the semester parties. This party was one such example. The entire atrium on this floor was full of college students, unshackled from finals and going balls to the wall with booze. I barely recognized the faces, but once in a dozen people, I noticed fellow classmates or coworkers from my job at the local supermarket. The thunderous roar of dance music from overhead speakers almost made conversation impossible. But people weren't here to have socratic seminars and debates. They were here to get blackout drunk.

"A lot of folk here tonight." I yelled over both the crowd and the music as we pushed through the sea of people, "How'd you organize this?"

"It isn't just my graduation you know." A few frat boys noticed their comrade and shouted in celebration. After a few fist bumps and whooping, they faded back into the crowd and Mathias kept walking, "A bunch of people are leaving university as well. Only thing I had to do was tell a couple key people that a party was going on. Oh, and the nullball team brought the booze straight from the Old Market!"

UUUURRRP!

I eyed a girl guzzling down a glass of clear liquid. She clutched her throat for a moment before belching loudly and screaming at the top of her lungs. I chuckled a bit at the scene, "It isn't just 'shine, is it? I can smell the paint thinner from here."

Mathias elbowed me, "Ah, don't sweat it! You have the highest tolerance of us all!"

"Yeah but I want to stay awake tonight. I may be here after a shift, but I'm about to drop any second!"