Fart story one-shots 2!

Dorm Food

Hu Tao takes Yanfei, Shinobu, and Xingqiu out for dorm food on their first day of university. At $2.29 per 100 g, surely it's top notch, high quality food, right?

Hu Tao's eyes pop out of her head when she sees the cost of dorm food. " $2.29 per hundred grams? " she screeches. "Aiyaya, I could make all of this myself for half the price!"

"You could get Xiangling to make you something as good as that for half the price," Xingqiu corrects her. "You'd somehow manage to spontaneously combust half of your groceries and still only end up with a shriveled husk of lettuce." He shivers. "That poor lettuce."

Hu Tao karate chops him on the head and he winces, rubbing it gently. "I am a perfectly good chef, thank you very much. Right, Yanfei?"

Yanfei blanches. "Uh..." She scooches back. "You do make...food."

"Does she?" Xingqiu mutters. Hu Tao chops him again. "Ow!"

"Why don't we get food?" Shinobu suggests, saving them both from Hu Tao's continued pestering. "The other first years are going to start crowing the cafeteria soon." She grabs a plate and peers under the food warmer at the first row of food. "Hmm, this looks not bad." She piles on some oysters. "Yanfei, want me to get you some?"

Yanfei's too busy flinging scoop after scoop of crab roe tofu into her bowl to look at her. "Nah, look at this — there's so much tofu! And no one's even touching it!"

"There's probably a reason why no one's taking it. Maybe it's not that good."

"But it's tofu!"

Shinobu sighs. "You and your tofu." She continues walking around, occasionally adding to her plate as if she were at a buffet. "At least have some variety," she says, filling a second bowl with rice.

"I have soup, too!" Yanfei holds out a bowl filled with hot liquid.

"With tofu?"

"Hehe... Tofu is best served hot, after all. Everything is better hot."

"Agree to disagree. Want a drink?" Shinobu presses a cup against the fountain drink dispenser.

"I'll just have water. No ice, thanks."

Hu Tao hurries up to them, holding a tray packed full with a huge array of food. "Hey, guys! They have so much stuff here — and it's only for orientation! An upper-year said that normally they only have, like, six hot dishes normally. I got steamed fish! And dim sum! I can die happy now."

Xingqiu meanders over to them as they make their way to the checkout area, holding a plate of steamed fish with rice. "Where. Are. The. Vegetables?" He shudders. "I only saw boiled carrots ."

They all look down at their plates. "There's napa in my gyoza ," Shinobu says.

"Tofu has beans." Yanfei offers. "Those are vegetables, right?"

"What's a vegetable?" Hu Tao asks innocently.

Xingqiu facepalms. "We're all going to get scurvy."

Yanfei's hand trembles as she lifts the golden treasure up to her lips. She closes her eyes in bliss and plunges the spoon into her mouth. It's firm and breaks apart at the slightest movement, the salty egg yolk accompanying it bringing nothing but joy. The tofu's absorbed the yolk to have just a hint of eggy flavour. A gentle movement of her tongue and the green onion garnish arrives to finish the scene, spicing up the rather whole mix up until now with a lovely crisp texture and burst of goodness. Yanfei swallows the gourmet delicacy and sighs, satisfied.

"Wow," Xingqiu comments when she finally opens her eyes to take another spoonful of tofu. "It's that good?" He eyes her plate with envy. "It's not a vegetable, but..."