Chadverse Mini Stories

Frustrated

"Who's going to let you?" Diamond called.

"Who's going to stop me?" Star replied cooly. "You?"

Diamond held up a phone to Stars back.

"I will."

Star froze mid step and turned around. "Hi... Connie! How are you? You look so pretty."

"Star, I'm half asleep and driving in my car to the grocery store." She took a deep breath. "And then I'm gonna come home, and take care of you. A sexually frustrated walk in the woods sounds like a recipe for disaster," She paused to turn a corner, "I'll be home soon."

"It was just a lighthearted joke," Star muttered bashfully as he sent his best murderous glare to Diamond.

"I don't think it was, Connie," Diamond input with a loudly false innocence. "I think Star is frustrated."

Star glared at him so hard he thought his eyes would fall out of his head. "I hate you."

"Why? I'm trying to help you. Humans have needs that need to be met, don't they?" Diamond had the shadow of a cynical smile. "Don't they, Star?"

"I'll shatter you myself one of these days and then we'll see who's laughing."

"Neither one of you will be," Connie yawned tiredly. "You'd both die."

"Right," Star grumbled. "Well, he still doesn't need to be a freak about it."

Connie hummed. "You're both himbos. I'll just take care of both of you then, and we'll call it even." Her fingers combed through her tangled hair and she yawned again.

"But, I don't need to be taken care of," Diamond frowned.

"Don't you?" She glanced at the camera knowingly and Diamond flushed.

"I was curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat, Diamond." She clicked off the phone and they both stood there, staring at it with not a single thought in their heads.

"You dirty son of a–,"