Chadverse Mini Stories

The Way I Love You

The way Connie loved Star and Diamond was inexplicably different from how she loved Steven, however the adoration felt the same, it was not. And she had to acknowledge that fact with reverent grace and guilt everyday. She could not love them the same when they were broken apart, but the feeling came just as powerful and unbending as it did with her Steven.

They had the same bodies, the supple soft stomachs, the strong chest and broad shoulders that Steven had worked on when he was fighting for his life the hardest. Their hair was the same, thick and silky but wild no matter how Steven or Star washed and conditioned it so. They had the same cheeks she loved to kiss and pinch and squeeze with her hands, and they blushed the same way when she adored the baby fat softness that was there. They had a sense of responsibility about them, a sense of a higher calling she could not begin to hear even if she tried. A sense of regality and power and self hatred that rampaged them both. They could hate the other, but they could love each other just as hard dually.

There were differences though, differences that left her quaking with melancholic, bittersweet feelings.

Stars face always held a sense of despair and exhaustion, presumably from the internal war of strong, relentless emotion that coursed through him with no filter. It tore at his insides and found its way out anyhow they could, through his mouth, through his tired eyes, through his entire body as he trembled and mourned for a sense of normality that would never be granted to him. The depression, the borderline behavior, it was painful for him. As painful as being boiled alive, but silent and barely tolerable without ever being good or even okay. It was monstrous, invigorating as much as it was tormenting. But his smile painted his face now and again. The bubbly excitement, the joyous laughter and teasing that had slowly started to become more frequent as he grew accustomed, but not exactly thrilled, at his new way of living. There confidence in his stance at times, as opposed to the slump and dropped shoulders as if he could feel the true weight of everything on them at once. He could smile, he could laugh and he could love her as deeply as the empty void above was wide.

But Diamond, Diamond was near opposite to Star. He was unpredictable, volatile and as blank as the planet earth itself. There were things, lots of things, thoughts even, that plagued his mind like made. He could not always express them without a fist, without a shout or shutting down entirely. Diamond could be as listless as Star, and was just as broken. Emotions came differently to him, like drops of water from an unknown source. The ache to truly understand was there, but just as with the Crystal Gems, it would take time. Expression wasn't his strong suit, save for primal things, gem things like perfectionism and the urge to create, build and destroy. He had been made for those things, or rather, Rose, Pink Diamond had. But he defied it as their mother had, taking shaky steps directly in hers and avoiding others altogether. He was methodical, precise in everything that he did and when he wasn't it would only cause turmoil. Physical touch was as foreign as love itself was, and yet he found ways to touch her every day. A sympathetic pat on the head when she was stressed, a tired pull of her body closer to his in the rare occasion he slept, three taps on her thigh or shoulder that told him he loved her but could not bear to say the words with the monotone he had acquired from being. There were few inflections in his voice, few times when it would raise in distress or joy or pleasure. But it did, and she could find joy in him as much as she did Star.

When they came together, glowing as the puzzle pieces in their heads and bodies melded together, they balanced out.

Steven held Stars sweetness and romantic nature as much as he held the emotional suffering of existing as he did. He donned confidence and flirting and roguishly handsome ability to be simultaneously cocky and humble at once. She supposed some of that connected to Diamonds sureness of purpose, and their shared purpose was to love her and eventually love themselves in a way that would prevent the frequency of their parting. Diamonds glow, his power and unmatched strength could hold her down, toss her around and yet cradle and kiss and soften at will. He was control and chaos at his finest, and it was as beautiful as it was harrowing.

Connie rolled with the punches like she always did, whether metaphorical or breaking up physical ones. She could take things in steps, she could plan and execute with a sturdiness that Steven did not possess. Yes, she was an anxious individual. But was driven, given the title of functioning, and that functionality drove her to learn. Relearn, learn again. She learned everywhere she went, she studied until the dull cry of misery and enjoyment burst out of her in a needy desperation of their intimacy and time. She knew she could be as needy as Steven at times, but she kept it locked away mostly, only letting it out when her mind could take no more secrecy of the longing for one, or both, whomever was close by and available to hold her. She was poise and dedication, and her dedication to them had never faltered once. Not when he tried to save her from the peril surrounding his life. Not when he was taken away to evil dictators for them to kill him. Not when his gem was torn from his body like a splinter and for the first time she could see his other half, and not when she had a name for it either. There was nothing she had seen that would prevent her from loving him, be it broken or monster or human or diamond, she loved him, them, all the same.