Rejected by one Alpha, Loved by another

Chapter 33 - regret

Jaxon's POV

*** SLAP ***

I had never raised my hand to a woman before and I didn't even know what I had done until she started crying and backing away from me.

"Baby! Baby I am so sorry I didn't mean to do that please believe me"

She stayed quiet. I tried to reach for her but she backed away in fear. From me.

She runs past me and towards the door, I grab her but she lets go of me and screams for me to get out.

"Baby please I'm so sorry please believe me I'm so so sorry!" I beg but I know I have hurt her.

"GET OUT! GET OUT AND DON'T TOUCH ME AGAIN!!" She screams at me.

I'm devastated at what I've just done, I get out and she slams the door in my face. I hear ruffling and her walking around. I do the only thing I can and I run downstairs to my mom and I'm instantly regretting what I am about to do. Tears brim my eyes, the pain of the stinging feeling there but I don't let them fall. I can't.

"Hey sweetheart are you alright"

"Mom. I've just done something and I didn't mean to I swear I didn't mean to it was an accident"

"What have you done?" She asks while staring deeply into my eyes for answers.

"I slapped Esme"

"YOU DID WHAT!"

"I didn't mean to she was shouting and crying and I just needed her to calm down. I'm sorry I'm so sorry I'm sorry"

"Baby, hey look at me. You're hurting, She's hurting. You're angry at the world, She's angry at the world Jaxon. You're in pain mentally and exhaustingly and She's also in pain mentally. You're both grieving and you know what she has been through and the fear she had of men! People who abused her and HIT her daily"

I'm left standing on my own. heartbroken and ashamed to say the least.

3 days have passed and I haven't eaten a thing, I haven't left my room and I haven't slept and if I have then it's to be outside Esme'es room. I sit at Esme's door at night and listen to her sleeping. The first night I sat here and I didn't hear her sleeping, she was crying until the early hours when she must have fallen asleep. I begged my mom not to mention it to anyone. My dad gave me a full-blown punch after hearing about it but thankfully Finley hasn't heard about it.

" Sweetheart you need to get some sleep. Here have a cup of tea it's decaf and it's good for you"

"I'll sleep when I'm dead" I explain to her.

After drinking the tea and talking with my mom I start to feel sleepy. My eyes are hurting from staying away and my mom apologises to me and sits next to me.

"Honey I'm sorry. You're scaring me and when you're not eating or sleeping and making yourself ill I can't stand around and watch it happen. Get some sleep and I will take the time to fix a nice dinner"

"I'm sorry Mom. I'm so sorry"

"Shh...it's okay," she says as she walks out of the room.

Esme's POV

I've not left my room in days and everyone still thinks it's because of all that's happened. In some ways, it is...but it's not in other ways. I'm not mad at him I never was. It hurt like a bitch and I think it scared him more than it did me. I have heard him outside my room every night, he doesn't say anything, he just sits there.

"Esme darling it's Robyn. Can you open up I've got a nice cup of tea and a pack of biscuits here that I can't eat them on my own" I smile at her words. Why does she have to be so kind?

How can I be so rude not to open the door now?

I open the door and she walks in with 2 cups of tea and a tray full of biscuits, I'm grateful for her to be here.

"Look I am not going to justify what he's done. No way in hell am I going to do that, what he did was out of character and so out of order and he's fully aware of this darling."

I look her straight in the eye and speak calmly to her. "I'm not mad at him. I'm not, it hurt like a bitch but I didn't get mad it was a shock. I've been so wrapped in my own world and head that I haven't taken the time to think how it's affected him and it scares me. What happened and the nightmares that fill my mind Robyn, the horrors I keep being greeted with when I close my eyes I'm scared. I sit in bed at night and pray that whatever this is just goes. I love him. I love him so much and he doesn't even know that anymore because it's all my fault we lost the baby"

"It's not your fault sweetheart. It's really not you went through something and you needed space but don't shut us out. Come down for dinner and see everyone, you're a strong young woman with badass skills and a big heart. People miss you and I know Jaxon is very remorseful to the point where I have had to put a sleeping pill in a drink for him to finally sleep it's been nearly 4 days since he slept. He's worried about you, we all are. Please come downstairs. I don't think I can listen to Jacob bicker with Finn about movies and fighting skills I need my wingwoman" she says with a wink and a smile.

"Okay"

We head downstairs and I'm greeted by many people and given hugs as well as gifts and flowers, my heart is flowing with pure love that these people are happy in their Luna and it warms my heart.

"Hey," Finn says as he stands near me. I hug him and I'm also quick to greet Jacob who is walking towards me.

"Hello sweet. It's good to have you here" he greets me so warmly. The father figure I have never had. A mother in Robyn that me and Finn have never had either and it's lovely.

After dinner and a bit of laughter and talk with people I head on upstairs and instead of heading towards my room I head for Jaxon's room instead. Probably on instinct but I want him right now.

I lay on his bed while he's sleeping and I'm holding his hand. Wanting to protect him the way he has been with me for almost 2/3 months. My body is tingling from the bond and it sends me into a nice sleep next to my mate. My Jax.

I woke up with Jaxon stirring in his sleep mumbling something I can't figure out what but he seems scared. I run my hand on his face letting the bond do its job and listen to his heartbeat slow down and I'm instantly relieved that he's calming down, he slowly opens his eyes and I don't think he expected me to be here because he has tears in his eyes and I can't help but put my thumb to his cheek and wipe them away.

"Esme?"

"Yes, baby. It's me. I didn't want to sleep on my own tonight and your mom wanted me to tell you that she had to do what she did she couldn't watch you spiral. I'm so sorry"

"Baby you don't need to apologise it's all my fault I'm so sorry! Please forgive me"