Rejected by one Alpha, Loved by another

Chapter 97: Alpha Tone

Millie's POV
'You can control when you change into your wolf Millie. You can turn whenever you want to."
I remember on my 17th birthday when our witch told me that I could change and control my wolf but I could still use all my wolf senses and I could still talk to my wolf. She wouldn't weaken and she wouldn't be able to not change but it's been a long time since I shifted.

I leave my things in the spare room and climb out of the window to Kai's massive house.
Behind the back of the house are woods. I dress lightly so that the clothes I wear can be torn and not be a complete waste.
'You ready girl?' I ask my wolf.
She's very excited. So happy to be able to run free.
'Are you ready Mills? You haven't exactly been yourself lately' she says as she nervously walks around in my head.
'I feel alive! I feel like this is so needed' I explain and it's true. I feel like I haven't been alive for the last two weeks.
Making myself as quiet as possible I head for the woods. I look over my shoulder every now and then, my paranoia getting the best of me. That feeling of being followed settles deep in my stomach.
'Remember Millie. You are in control here. You can control me you know this right?'
'I know. I know' I say as I jog the remainder of the trek. My body feels tight and I feel like if I don't do this then I'm going to explode.
-
15 minutes later and I'm in my wolf form, casually walking through the woods, sniffing the dirt below, the fresh breeze of the night sky.
Ahead I hear the sounds of water. Following the sound, I'm led to a beautiful open waterfall.
Christ.
'Let's go for a sprint angel' and I instantly feel that prickling sensation on my back. My fur-raising in awareness and my hackles rising by the second.
Someone is definitely following me.
I look behind me as fast as I can only to find another animal several feet behind me.
Turning, I sprint as fast as I can but I'm not quick enough, I'm definitely being followed and if I'm not careful, I'm going to get myself hurt.
The adrenaline is spiking my body, urging me to run faster.
'Come on girl. Keep going' I say. I feel the distress coating my body, those hackles rising on my back. They have now blown into a full-on anxiety attack.
I can't breathe.
My flight or fight instincts kick in and instead of doing the only logical thing I should do which is to run back to the house and close the bedroom door, or better yet...run into the arms of Kai, I turn and run toward my follower.
Teeth barring, claws extended, senses heightened, I tackle the wolf as I now see it, to the floor, both of us fighting, growling and snapping at each other.
'Danger! It's dangerous'
I ignore Zia's outburst and continue to fight with the newcomer. It gets to the point where I feel the blood dripping all over me but I don't stop.
Eventually, I'm laid on my side in the dirt and cold, out of breath, blood all over me, some of the blood that's on me can't be mine. It ran away after a while.
Standing up, I whine at how my leg hurts and I can feel my body tremble with the adrenaline leaving my body but I stop. The pain is excruciating but that's not what stops me in my tracks. It's the voice of the one person in my head that I didn't think I'd be hearing from until morning.
"What. The. Fuck" is all he says.
I turn around, eyeing Kai's wolf for the first time and fuck me he's big. He's beautiful and he's...pissed.
"Millie?"
"The one and only," I say back to him through our mind link.
"What the fuck happened to you?"
I don't say anything I simply turn around and continue back to the sounds of the waterfall. It's quiet, it's beautiful and it's fresh.
"Stay right where you fucking are Millie!" He snaps at me and I do. I stand like an obedient little puppy in training.
"I'm going to the waterfall. Go home, Kai" I say back. Exhaustion hits me square in the face when I don't even fight him about staying where I am.
"What the fuck did I read in your diary Millie?"
That gets my attention. "What the fuck?!" I snap out. He should never have read my diary! That's personal and private.
"What did I-"
"I can't do this!" I finally whine. The pain is so achingly torturous and I don't just mean the muscles that are aching, I mean my heart. My heart hurts because I can't give him what he needs. I can never and will never be what he wants or needs because I'm broken.
"Can't do what?"
"I can't have a mate Kai! I never wanted someone to suffer the burden of being with me when I didn't even want to be here. I don't just suffer with choosing things, deciding what to have for tea, or what clothes to wear! I have to think about it. I make it or create it and if I don't like it I get angry and upset. If it burns and fails then I feel like a failure! If I sense that something is wrong my mind shuts down okay! No one should ever have to face that burden. I wasn't made to be an Aloha's mate. A pack's Luna or someone's true love so please...please just go"
"Millie-"
"I, Millie Hayes, reject you Kai-" I don't even get to finish what I'm saying before my back hits the ground with a thud. My head is spinning and my chest is breaking from the start of my rejection.
I didn't want him to regret it later on and reject me anyway.
"Don't you dare finish that fucking sentence!" He snaps out. His eyes turn red as he spits his words out like they are poison.
I can feel my eyes sting. And yes, even in my wolf form I can still cry because I am feeling the stray tear leave my eyes as I lay here. Helpless.
"I'm saving you a job," I whisper to him. A sob breaks through and Zia is quick to use her strength to push his off me to help me gather myself.
"Don't you think that's a choice for me to make Millie? ME! Not you!" He says as he walks away. His paws angrily hit the ground in an attempt to drown out me.
I sit here, silently crying. Pleading in my head and heart for him to just reject me. Let me suffer a lifetime's worth of pain so he can be the one to find his happily ever after.
"Kai-"
"Fuck!" He shouts and it startles me because I've never heard him shout before. Let alone at me.
"Follow me" he orders and I don't think I'm in quite the position to argue but I try to reason anyway.
"Kai, please-"
"Follow me, Millie! Don't fucking test me right now" he says using his commanding tone.
His Alpha tone.
His asshole tone.