Rejected by one Alpha, Loved by another

Chapter 90: Boldness

Millie's POV

He kisses me like I have never been kissed before.

You haven't been properly kissed before dumbass. And of course, my wolf has to interject the humiliation of my...would it be classed as a first or second kiss? Who cares right now? I'm currently kissing my mate who has yet to let me go since he started this.

His bed is so soft that I wouldn't mind just staying here forever. I wouldn't mind just being in his company and thinking screw it to my achievements but I know that this is just because he's making me feel good right now. I don't want to sound insecure but I'm insecure. And needy right now.

"Kai" I whisper as we watch some TV show that we aren't even watching. He's stroking my hair as I lay there all awkward and nervous because I want to be closer to him in ways that I have never been with anyone before.

"Yeah?"

"How does it work?"

"How does what work Millie?" he asks. I can tell he's getting sleepy but even sleepy Kai is sexy. Good God.

"This? I'm still in college and if what my mom says is true then I have a lot to learn and I'm scared that I won't be what you want or need. When my dad rescued my mom and my Uncle Fin from their previous pack, she told me that everything she went through nearly tore them apart. I was never meant to find my mate. I didn't want to because of my problems and now that you're here...now that you've been there with me for weeks...I don't want to lose something because of what I go through. Some days are so easy, I can power through them on such little sleep but other days are the hardest. I can have 1 good day and 2 bad days and that's what scares me because it was a lot for my family to handle..."

"Baby girl...This is a part of you that I have willingly accepted. I didn't need to, I wanted to. I could have told you that I didn't want to be with you but I didn't do that because I do want to be with you. I want to know you. I want to grow with you no matter the issues we face"

His words make me feel settled in a way that I haven't felt in a long time. When I've been at college and felt this uneasy feeling, I would phone my mom or dad or even my sister and I would vent everything to them but here...right now, I feel like I can be myself. I haven't got the stress of the mean girls back at school and I haven't got the problems of my bipolar hanging over my head as a dirty secret, because he knows. He knows I have this and he isn't planning to leave me with it.

"Why do you have to say the most loving things going?" I ask as I slide my clammy hand down my trousers.

Kai takes my hand, my very clammy hand and presses a kiss to the inside of my wrist. All while looking directly at me.

"When I turned 18, my father told me I would be starting to take over small things. I was nervous even though I had training. I had been trained to take over from a young age and it terrified me. I would suffer from anxiety attacks because it wasn't a gas station I was handling. This was a pack. I didn't know back then how hard it would be but the first few months I had taken over, my father hung around and guided me through it. I made mistakes but he never shouted at me or belittled me. He told me I was doing something wrong and I improved it by learning a new way to do it instead and soon enough it came naturally. I was this geeky kid in school where as my brother was all about popularity. What I'm trying to tell you Millie is that you are going to be doing something one day and someone is going to tell you it's wrong. They may do it in a mean way or a calm type of way but we are all...Human-Wolves and we too make mistakes"

"Am I expected to stay here while I'm at college?" I ask him. I got the message loud and clear but right now I don't think I could commute all the way to college and back every day. It's only a 20-minute drive but it's a lot for me to do every day.

"For now you can do what it is that you've been doing. That's why I haven't spoken to you about mating. You've got a few months left of college and I don't want you to feel like you have to be here even though it hurts when I come home at night but..."

"But?" I say after looking up into his beautiful eyes to see that he's already looking into my eyes as he strokes my hair and holds my still clammy hand to his stomach.

"When we mate-and we will because fucking hell I want nothing more than to claim you as my own-It would be extremely difficult to let you go back to your apartment. It won't settle well with either of our wolves, then you will stay here" He says while watching my every move. I want to laugh and I want to cry all at the same time because...come on...I feel like my life is in pieces while this man has his life all figured out.

"But you've got your shit together" is what I say instead of "Okay"

His chuckle makes his chest rise and fall in a good rhythm and I feel even better than I did when I walked into his room. "Of Millie...I have not got my shit together baby, but I will have when I get my Luna to admit she wants me the same way I want her" he says as if he's asking me to admit I love chocolate cake. Which I do. Terribly.

"Who wouldn't want you? I mean...Have you seen you?" I ask sliding my hand up his stomach to his chest. There is nothing sexual about this but my body heats like nothing else and I feel my pulse hitting the roof.

"I don't want anyone else to want me. I want you to want me. I can hear your pulse going ten to the dozen...are you nervous?" he asks with a smirk on his face.

"Nervous. Slightly turned on and feeling extremely bold right now to admit them things but not bold enough to act on those things." is what I say. I don't need to wait long before his lips are on my neck, kissing where I can only assume the bond mark will go before his husky voice sends goosebumps down my neck. "Believe me when I say this Millie. When I claim you, you'll forever feel bold enough to know what you want. There are things we could do before we ever mate anyway baby girl and you'll receive this treatment until you are ready enough to let me mark you as my own. Which will be sweet torture until that happens"

All I can do is gulp and nod because my bold-ass mouth has landed me in a bold-ass situation that I cannot think straight of right now.