Rejected by one Alpha, Loved by another

Part 36 - Esmes fears

Esmes POV

"Jaxon do you think everything will be okay? You know with the baby?"

I'm sitting in Jaxons office while he does his work as we have finally finished the vampire diaries and I'm not wanting to start another series yet so i thought I'd sit here and watch my handsome fiancé do his work until he's finished or until I get extremely bored which will probably be that one.

"Esme why do you ask?"

"Because I lost the last baby and.."

"Baby...no, no you didn't well yes we did but it was not your fault and every time you blame yourself I feel guilty because I couldn't stop it from happening, those few weeks was hell and when you realised what had happened my heart sunk and I felt awful and heartbroken. You felt the need to stay away from me because you assumed I was mad and I really wasn't not with you anyway but I was at the world. Everything we had planned for and everything you had worked so hard for came crushing down on you and us and it really hurt"

I felt the tears prick at my eyes and I couldn't help but cry. He soon shifted from his desk and sat me on his lap to comfort me while I'm an emotional wreck. I have being crying non stop and sometimes it's over the smallest of things, one little thing and it's set me off completely.

"I spoke to the guys in the kitchen today and there doing you chicken nuggets and curly fries for your tea tonight while a side of salad and then gooey chocolate cake and chocolate custard or ice cream for pudding. Does that sound good princess?"

"Your just fattening me up aren't you" I say while laughing because it's so nice to be able to have a nice meal at a good time, it's nice to not have to wait until I can steal something to eat or have the scraps of scraps. I'm glad I have a pack who loves me and who shows me the value and the passion of what it takes to be a leader instead of a failure.

"Course I am. I can't have you and little baby wolf hungry now can we ?"

I kiss his cheek as a nice way to hopefully say I love you but I am also very turned on kind of way too and he gets the memo and were soon bursting through our room and I'm laid on the bed with my semi pregnant belly on show and I love how he is already in love with our pup it melts my already warm heart!!

"Are you sure you want this? I can smell you so badly are you sure you don't want a cold shower" he says while unbuttoning his shirt.

"Get those items of clothing off and get here Mr. I'm too horny to be conversing on what I want right now"

After an hour of constant moaning and 3 orgasms later we are both laid on our bed and laughing over absolutely nothing.

"Esme" Jax calls after we've calmed down and finally had a moment to gather ourselves.

"Yes"

" I need to talk to you before I got back to work and I'm not sure how you will handle it"

I'm now confused by what it is that he's trying to tell me and why I won't like it. My heart starts to beat louder at the fear of him telling me he doesn't love me anymore.

Jax went into the bathroom and turned the shower on, I didn't want to follow him just in case he didn't want me anymore and he could quite easily reject me and I don't think I could handle...

"Baby what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"Are you rejecting me? Is that what you want to talk about because I don't know if I would.."

I didn't even finish my sentence before he smashed his lips to mine. "You don't know when to be quiet so I decided that I will quieten you for your own sake. Because no I am not rejecting you I was going to tell you that I have to go away for 2 weeks, a pack across from our land has being having sightings of rogues and they're more frequent."

"Right. Oh thank goddess. I mean no that's not good for them as it's rogues where talking about but I'm glad that it isn't the latter of suspicions. When do you go?"

"I leave tomorrow afternoon. It's a 1 and a half hour drive but I don't want you to think  not going to be around much because I will be. When I'm back you'll be 6 weeks and then after that I won't be going anywhere unless you're with me princess. Mom and dad are here and I have everyone looking out for you, guards have being notified and my beta will be taking over any duties"

"Let me help. I'm the Luna of this pack I have been taking courses and doing all my usual duties as well let me help baby"

"I want you to relax Esme..."

"I'm hormonal and pregnant I haven't got much to do and besides if you give me permission I'd be sitting in your office that's basically it. I might go and stop by the training grounds to see how people are doing and to watch fights and training and I haven't got many things to be doing this week so I have the time"

"Okay. But...if you start to feel tired or..."

"I will relax. Stop worrying I will be fine. Okay you stress too much Jaxon"

After having a full blown discussion about my safety and the worries he has about me doing to much I finally win the battle and I'm getting ready to jump on the shower after winning against the Almighty Alpha Jaxon of the midnight pack.

"Shall we go and have a shower before we go for tea princess?"

"Yes please! I'm starving today"

"Get your fine ass moving then and then we can go for food and I can fatten you up further" He says while slapping my ass as I head into the bathroom before him.

"Owe. What was that for?" I ask while trying to sooth my sore behind. "Because you have me wrapped around your little finger and I love it. Call me whipped but I don't give a shit" he says while helping me into the shower.

"I will be fine you know. I'm not leaving the pack house and I'll be glad to do something other than sitting here. I have duties to attend to and once baby boy or baby girl is here it's going to be a while before I can go back to my usual work anyway" I say while defending myself and proving my point across to him.

"I know princess I just worry that's all and I've already agreed so unless you want me to change my mind then stop overthinking it and just let me take care of you okay"

I kiss him on his soft lips, my mind is relaxing on cloud 9 right now and I can feel a sense of security when I'm in his embrace. He grabs hold of me and lifts me to him, I can feel his hard length against my ass and I'm instantly wanting more of him, of his touch and of his love. And without even asking I feel his hand at my core, preparing me for round two and I'm so ready for this.

"Please Jax... please give me all of you..."