Boys Will Be Bugs

Chapter 40: Hospital

For once, Remus didn't even notice the whirling of the green flames around him as he and his father flooed home. Too many thoughts were whizzing through his mind, and already he could feel ice-cold guilt settling down on his shoulders. Why did you leave her? he kept asking himself over and over. I knew you shouldn't have left her on her own, you idiot!

"Why are we here? Why aren't we at the hospital?" They had arrived back home in Wales and Lyall was now ushering Remus out the front door.

"She's at a muggle hospital," he replied simply. "We can't floo there." They drove instead, which was nowhere near quick enough for Remus's liking, but at least it gave him the opportunity to question his father on what was going on.

"Why is she in hospital? What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know. They're doing tests. All I know is that your gran and grandad found her unconscious at home and called an ambulance." This caused even more thoughts to explode from Remus's mind. Thank God he'd made his grandparents check in on her, but how long had she been unconscious before they had found her? Had Remus been there, he could have helped her immediately, perhaps before she's even had the chance to collapse in the first place.

"Is she going to be okay?" Is she going to die? is what he wanted to ask, but he supposed the questions were both the same really, and they both had the same meaning behind them: did I hurt my mum?

"I don't know," was all Lyall could say, and for once, Remus wished his father wasn't so honest all the time.

***

Remus had only ever visited a hospital once. It was St Mungo's and Lyall's father had been dying of Dragon Pox. They hadn't been allowed to go near him.

Other than that, his family were generally in good health and no one had needed to visit the hospital. Remus had been to plenty of childhood checkups in various clinics, but he'd usually always been fine and had never needed a follow up trip to hospital. This was mostly down to his parents, who were even more terrified of him going to the hospital than any other parents because they didn't want anyone finding out that he was a werewolf, and nor did they want anyone finding out that he was trans (he had hated visits to his GP when he was a child, because he was still registered under his old name, so he was treated as a girl whenever he was there. His parents had to go along with it, to avoid any complications. The only bonus was that his mum had always bought him a treat afterwards as some compensation. He usually chose a Doctor Who comic and a chewy lollipop). Therefore, he'd always been protected in pretty much a bubble his whole life until he was able to prove to his parents that he was trustworthy enough to go out on his own.

The point was, Remus wasn't used to hospitals, especially not muggle hospitals. It didn't take him long to decide he hated them. At least in St Mungo's, the waiting room had been slightly comical in a way. Surreal. It was hard not to laugh when someone had accidentally transfigured their head into the head of a badger. But here, in this muggle waiting room, everyone just looked... like people. But nothing felt positive. People were scared, or stressed or sad. People had hurt their legs or their arms or their faces, people looked visibly ill– pale, drained and hunched over. Some were old and frail. Nothing good could happen here, thought Remus, and his mum was right in the heart of it.

Lyall led Remus away from the tiny waiting area and down a few blindingly white corridors. Nurses and doctors bustled by, smiling at them as they walked past. Remus put his head down so he didn't have to smile back. Eventually, they reached a corridor with a few chairs where Remus's grandparents were waiting. As soon as they spotted Remus and Lyall, they came over to greet them. Remus's grandma pulled him into a tight hug.