Boys Will Be Bugs

Chapter 83: Tension

"So are you two...?" They had returned from the pub at about one in the morning, but since it was a Saturday tomorrow, they weren't worried about sleeping in. Therefore, going to sleep wasn't an immediate concern; not that they could have fallen asleep right now anyway. They were too overexcited after the evening they'd had and had not yet calmed down, so conversation was still rife.

It quickly turned to the subject of Sirius and Remus.

"What?" asked Sirius innocently, and pointlessly. It was obvious what.

"You two kissed," continued James. "I saw you. We all did."

"We were just... caught up in the moment," said Remus, not knowing whether or not he and Sirius were still trying to hide their relationship from their friends. He tried to catch Sirius's eye, but he was standing too far away on the other side of the dorm.

"Are you sure? Because I wouldn't mind." Sirius looked at him, working out if he was telling the truth or not, although Remus couldn't see how James would be anything other than supportive given what he was like. After all, the guy had kissed a boy once before, and he was perfectly comfortable around the gay people in the bar, so how could he be any different towards his friends?

"We're... we're not," mumbled Sirius, although he didn't sound very sure of himself, and Remus felt a little disappointed that he was still trying to pretend their relationship didn't exist in order to save face. James wouldn't care. None of them would. He knew Sirius had a good reason to hide, but his friends would never tell on him. They kept each other's secrets to the grave, so he didn't have anything to worry about. It felt more like Sirius was ashamed of him than anything else. Was he? But Remus wasn't going to out him either way; he knew that would be crossing an unspoken boundary. He just had to wait to talk to him alone, and if Sirius was insisting that no one could ever find out about them, then perhaps they weren't quite ready to be boyfriends yet.

Remus had started out the relationship just as determined to keep it between them and no one else, but after tonight especially, he was growing tired of pretending to be someone he wasn't to his friends. What was the point? They had nothing to hide from each other. Doing so just made Remus feel like he was some dirty secret, something that Sirius couldn't even admit to himself. It wasn't a nice feeling.

Remus asked him later on if he wanted to walk around Hogsmeade with him.

"It's late," replied Sirius.

"Are you tired?"

"Not really." He eventually agreed and followed Remus out of the dorm room. They didn't have the invisibility cloak anymore, so they had to be extra careful. As it turned out, James had technically stolen the cloak in his first year, when in reality, he wasn't supposed to have it until he was eighteen. His dad had finally found out, and it had been confiscated. This was bad news for them, since it meant they had to limit their sneaking out and Remus had to be extra careful on the full moon to avoid being spotted.

Right now, though, it was too late to worry. They had the map, which was good enough to track people around the castle, but only Filch and Mrs Norris were up at this ungodly hour so they didn't bump into anyone. They were in Hogsmeade within twenty minutes.

"Why didn't you tell James?" asked Remus, as soon as they had left Honeydukes and were wandering along the cobbled street towards the open fields.

"I... didn't know if you wanted to tell him."

"I don't mind. I know he won't say anything bad, nor will our other friends, if that's what you're worried about."

"No, I'm not worried about that, I just..."