Boys Will Be Bugs

Chapter 49: Lonely

CW// Unhealthy eating habits, fainting

***

By Boxing Day, Hope insisted that Remus went home and got some sleep. She said Lyall would be going home as well, so at least Remus could stay in his own bedroom this time, rather than go all the way to his grandparents' house. He liked his grandparents' house, but when his mum was in hospital, it felt too quiet. Too different. When his mum was in hospital, he liked the familiarity of his bedroom.

Lyall got straight to making dinner when they returned. He didn't talk much, and the rest of the family had already left, so Remus didn't have anything to do. He went upstairs hoping there'd be letters from his friends waiting for him. He smiled when he entered the room and saw a respectable pile of envelopes and parcels littering his desk, and a very irritated Arianrhod who wasn't pleased about the constant disruption from other owls.

Remus sat at his desk and began opening the letters. They were mostly just Christmas cards, and detailed letters from James and Sirius about what they'd been up to at Hogwarts. Apparently Sirius had tried to charm the Christmas trees in the Great Hall to spin slowly around. He actually managed it, but the "slowly" part had accidentally been left out, so what really happened was a tsunami of baubles and tinsel flying around the room. Everyone had to be evacuated until a teacher could get the trees to stop, and Sirius was now spending the rest of the holidays in detention. Sirius's letter didn't seem to hold any resentment of this at all, and he proudly described the event in detail, laughing about the sight of the Slytherins charging out of the Great Hall with their heads covered.

Remus picked up Myfanwy's envelope, which felt bulkier than the others. It contained a Christmas card, as well as an actual letter:

Dear Remus,
I told Jethro! I told him just before Christmas and I was so nervous, but it actually went okay! I mean, it took him some time to get used to the idea and I'm not sure he quite believed me at first. But he didn't hate me or anything and we're still friends! This feels amazing, I can't believe I actually did it. And now he can call me Myfanwy too. I'm sort of panicking, but in a good way? I'm not sure, I don't know how to feel right now, but I do know I'm happy.

Anyway, I suppose that's it, I'll talk to you properly when we return to Hogwarts. Happy Christmas!

Myfanwy

Remus could feel himself grinning by the end of the letter, proud as he was of Myfanwy coming out to Jethro, as well as extremely happy that it had gone well. He couldn't wait to see her now, and immediately went searching for paper in order to reply back. He wanted to reply back to Sirius and James as well, and all his other friends, but he only had time for one letter before dinner. He stuck with Myfanwy, and decided to finish the rest after he'd eaten.

Dinner was a subdued affair, but for once Remus had no idea why. He wasn't in a bad mood himself, and his dad didn't seem to be in one either. Lyall was just... somewhere else. Remus had to call to him twice before getting his attention.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked. Lyall nodded and smiled a reassuring smile that didn't quite meet his eyes.

"I'm fine, sorry. I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

"Oh, nothing important. Don't worry about it." Remus tried not to, and soon went back to thinking about his own stuff; his letters to his friends. Myfanwy's letter had cheered him up so much that he wasn't very perceptive to his father. He believed Lyall's excuses without question.

Perhaps it was a subconscious preservation thing. There was obviously something going on, and if Remus had connected the dots to his father's mood originating from him talking to the doctors at the hospital, Remus would have been far more concerned than he was. But he had already worried enough, and for once he could just think about something that made him happy. He could think about his friends, and replying to their letters, and everything else was okay. He could worry about why his father was acting preoccupied another time. Right now, he needed this. He needed the break.