Boys Will Be Bugs

Chapter 80: Boyfriends

Sirius stared at him. He didn't look as surprised as Remus thought he'd be, although he'd certainly been taken off guard. Sirius searched him up and down, seemingly wondering if he was joking or not. Remus looked steadily back to assure that he was being sincere.

"What?" asked Sirius, even though he had heard exactly what Remus had said. He needed to be sure.

"Do you want to be my boyfriend?" Sirius stepped towards him. The fact that he hadn't immediately rejected the idea was a good sign, Remus thought. He hoped it was anyway.

"Are you... serious?" Remus nodded.

"I don't mean in public, I'm not saying we should go around school holding hands. I just mean, between me and you... do you want to be boyfriends?"

"How would that be any different to what we are now?" Remus was slightly taken aback, if only because Sirius had basically admitted that he already considered the two of them to be boyfriends in the first place.

"I guess... it would just mean we'd know where we stood with each other."

"And we couldn't date anyone else?"

"Do you want to date anyone else?"

"No." Sirius didn't even hesitate. "Not right now, anyway."

"But you would want to in the future?" Sirius took a moment to think about it. He wasn't hesitating, he was just figuring something out. His look of bewilderment turned to a calm sort of certainty.

"No," he said. "I can't think of anyone else I'd want to date." Remus couldn't stop himself from smiling at that.

"Me neither," he replied.

"So does that settle it then?" asked Sirius. "Does that mean we're... boyfriends?"

"If you want to be, then yeah. I think so." Sirius remained unsmiling, but not in a way that suggested he was against what was happening. He was just surprised. Surprised that this was happening so quickly.

"Okay then," he replied, and he held his hand out, as if they were shaking on a deal. Remus laughed softly. Sirius could be so formal sometimes. He took Sirius's hand and brought him into a hug. It felt weird, after all they'd been through, that the two had accepted their relationship with each other with little protest. He had expected Sirius to stare at him in horror and immediately turn him down out of fear, but... perhaps they had moved past that phase of their life. The fear, the shame, the guilt. They were still young, still scared, but they were different now. Sirius had grown up too quickly, perhaps more so in just the last month, and he had given up trying to reject any semblance of comfort he could find for fear of the consequences. He had already dealt with the consequences, and now he needed a shoulder to cry on. Remus felt more or less the same.

They were tired of fighting.

***

Myfanwy hadn't shown up that morning. She was visiting McGonagall to discuss sleeping arrangements and a change of name on the register, things that Remus hadn't needed to go through himself, though he was of course supportive nonetheless. Myfanwy had been wracked with nerves on the evening they had arrived at Hogwarts. She kept her head low during dinner, hoping that everyone was sufficiently distracted by food and conversation to notice her. Luckily, she managed to go the evening without being recognised, and she was feeling relatively confident by the end of the feast.

As she started walking back to the Gryffindor common room, however, doubt began to creep back into her mind. She admitted her concerns to the rest of the fourth years. What if the other Gryffindors saw her walking up the stairs to the boys' dormitory and interrogated her about it? Or what if someone recognised her and told the rest of the school?