Boys Will Be Bugs

Chapter 103: Ice Rink

CW// explicit swearing, recreational drug use and one mention of the t-slur (in a reclaimed way, rather than a derogatory way)

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James didn't mention Finn again, or even his sudden, slight outburst the other day, and his friends eventually dropped the subject. They soon got the message that James didn't want to talk about what had happened, and they didn't want to push him. Sometimes they spotted Finn in the corridors, but the two simply nodded to each other in a friendly, but largely impersonal way. James informed Remus that they had agreed not to say anything to each other, that what happened in the bar stayed in the bar, and they were both content with this arrangement. Nothing more needed to be said.

Incidentally, however, James hadn't been the only one to hook up with someone that night in the pub. According to Lily, Marlene and Dorcas had finally built up the courage to reveal their feelings to each other, fuelled on by enough alcohol and general adrenaline from Halloween night, which meant that the two were now officially girlfriends. Remus was very happy for them, and they seemed incredibly happy themselves. Marlene was walking around on cloud nine, her good mood undeterred by anything, even when Gryffindor epically lost their next Quidditch match. Dorcas had been supporting her from the sidelines, so by the time she touched down at Madam Hooch's final whistle, she still had a huge grin on her face. This was in contrast to the deep scowl that James had on for the rest of the afternoon, watching in disdain as the Slytherins celebrated their win.

Remus tentatively asked Lily how she felt about Marlene and Dorcas finally getting together, and she insisted that she was nothing but ecstatic for them.

"It was certainly about time," she said. "I've been third wheeling those fuckers for years now." Remus laughed.

"So you're definitely okay with Marlene being well and truly taken?" Lily rolled her eyes.

"I told you, Remus, there was nothing going on between me and her, we were just having fun."

"Alright, alright, I won't ask again." He refrained from pointing out another thing that she and James had in common, mostly because he would be betraying James's trust if he did so, and nothing could ever bring him to do that. It was funny, though, how oblivious the two seemed to be of each other. They were so much more similar than either of them would ever dream possible, and it was infuriating sometimes watching the two of them, but Remus accepted that it was no longer his place, so he left it at that and moved on to more pressing subjects.

He was only two months into fifth year, and already he was feeling pretty overwhelmed— not due to the schoolwork like his friends were, but mostly just to do with how many things were going on in everyone's lives all of a sudden. Remus could barely keep up, and it was almost a novelty that his own life was probably the least of his concerns right now. The full moon was more or less fine now, and other than that, he didn't have much else to worry about. Sometimes he was hit with bad days of dysphoria, usually prompted by any time he was forced to take off his binder and look at his chest, such as during showering or undressing at night. He was desperate to try to ask Selene again about getting top surgery, but she was clearly too preoccupied with other things to even consider his surgery a priority right now.

She had been largely absent as a bartender lately, causing him to spend most of his evenings supervising the bar with Sirius. At the very least, she had upped both of their pay to compensate, but on a more personal level, he was worried about her. Not only was he concerned by her constant absences, but whenever she was around, she just seemed exhausted. He urged her to get some rest, but whenever he went upstairs to check, she was usually in her room, scribbling away on endless trails of parchment paper, her hair messed up from how much she had run her hands through it. He tried to get her to talk to him, but her responses were the same, monosyllabic answers that gave him no new information about her whereabouts.