Remus tried to forget about Dumbledore's offer. He refused to be tempted by something so blatantly obvious: of course Dumbledore would hit him where it was weakest, promising him a life where he felt less alone in the world. Remus didn't need Dumbledore for that, he could achieve it himself. As soon as he left Hogwarts he could find these so-called werewolf villages and choose himself whether he wanted to visit them or not. In the meantime, he still had his friends. The Order would do fine without him. It wasn't as if he were going to end up being the one who defeated Voldemort, so he couldn't feel guilty about not agreeing to Dumbledore's request.
It played on his mind, though, distracting him from everything else until he had to contend with his friends asking him what was wrong. He refused to elucidate, thinking that they couldn't possibly help him; they weren't werewolves, after all, so they couldn't understand how big a deal this was for him. They'd just tell him not to do it without really caring why not doing it was so painful. He didn't want his friends to keep harassing him, though, so to compensate for his distance, he threw himself into everyone's daily activities, hoping it would be enough to bring his mood back up again. Trust Dumbledore to put a damper on Remus's post-top surgery elation. Remus hadn't even thought that was possible.
It started with him returning to his self-taught accordion lessons, and with the help of Sirius's own skills, he was actually getting quite good. He could finally pump out a few tunes, some more complicated than others, and the instrument no longer sounded like a tortured cat. Sometimes in the evening, after his friends had finished studying, he would play something in front of the fire and it would be good enough for them to no longer protest. He hadn't mastered the art of playing any song he wanted by ear, so everything he did play were songs he had learnt specifically. He was getting better, though. If someone requested a song he hadn't yet learnt, he was able to play a very simple version of it after some trial and error. It was fun, and he couldn't wait for when he could show his grandfather how much he'd learnt all by himself.
Remus didn't see much if his friends lately, what with exams looming in a few months. Sirius was still working at the pub part time, while Remus was trying to stay away for fear of running into Selene and letting his awkwardness and visible guilt speak for itself. He didn't want to avoid Selene, but he also didn't think he could go a full conversation without her figuring out that he was hiding something. He only visited the bar when he was especially lonely and the rest of his friends were there, because at least he was constantly preoccupied enough to stay away from his aunt. He remembered one night, a particularly good night when James had put on Bohemian Rhapsody, a new song by Queen and one of the strangest songs that Remus had ever heard. It instantly became a favourite amongst everyone he knew, however. Sirius said it was ridiculously camp, and he wasn't wrong. There was an entire section of opera in amongst piano ballads and guitar solos. It was undeniably the funnest song to sing along to, and it was clear that most of the pub were now familiar enough with it for an uproar to spark as soon as the first few notes began to play. It was six minutes of the greatest experience of Remus's life, singing the most theatrical song ever written in a roomful of rowdy, dramatic queer people. The song was practically made for them and Sirius especially was obsessed with it. A day hadn't gone by since the song's release that Sirius hadn't played it, and Remus was surprised that he hadn't yet grown tired of the song. Remus couldn't deny how much it suited Sirius's personality.
The only thing that marred that night at the pub was how drunk Sirius ended up getting. They were all used to drunken nights these days and usually it wasn't a big deal. They just stumbled back to bed and waited for the hangover to take over the next day. Sometimes the alcohol wouldn't mix well, though, and Sirius was rather temperamental after he'd had a few drinks, especially if he was already struggling with something. The alcohol tended to open up the floodgates when it came to Sirius. Even so, he must have been extra determined to keep his feelings locked in place, because Remus still received no explanation to why he suddenly grew so aggressive by the end of the night. He didn't go near his friends, but he punched a wall in the dorm room so hard that the paint cracked underneath his knuckles. Remus went over to him, to try to calm him down, but Sirius pushed him away and locked himself in the bathroom for a while. Remus could do nothing to tempt him out again, so he had to just sit there and listen to him crying until Sirius finally passed out. Remus unlocked the door with a quick 'alohomora' and got James to help him drag Sirius out and onto his bed.
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Boys Will Be Bugs
Fanfiction[REUPLOAD] Remus Lupin has more than one secret, and there's no way of knowing who he can trust. All he has are his parents, but they can't protect him when he goes off to Hogwarts. But then Remus meets a boy and his two other friends, and soon real...
