Boys Will Be Bugs

Chapter 88: Cane

"What's wrong?" asked James. Remus wiped his eyes on his sleeve and told him, he told him everything. About the full moon and how it was effecting him more and more and how he was scared that his body was starting to fall apart. Once he started talking he didn't know how to stop, it all just came pouring out of him like a burst dam. James put an arm round him and listened.

"That sounds pretty terrifying," he said, when Remus finally finished speaking.

"It is."

"You know, if you're struggling you can just tell us. Like, if we're running around all over the place and you're hurting, then we'll slow down."

"I don't want to... be a downer, though."

"Oh come off it, it's more of a downer you sitting in here crying cos your legs hurt too much or something, we'd rather you just let us know."

"Yeah but if I admit it to you then I have to admit to myself that there's something wrong with me."

"But it won't go away if you just ignore it. It's like... ." James took a moment to put his thoughts in order. "It's like how I can't focus for shit and I couldn't do my schoolwork but I was sort of just pretending everything was fine and it'd get done eventually. But that was just making everything even more stressful because I was always thinking of assignments I had to do."

"So what did you do?"

"Well... that's a bit trickier because I still keep leaving things to the last minute, but! Sometimes I force myself to do my homework immediately and get it out the way and that works as well, and then I don't have to think about it."

"Okay... so, what are you saying?"

"What I mean is, if you finally tell yourself you actually have a problem, then you can try to sort it out better."

"But I've already told Madam Pomfrey, and all she can do is give me potions to stop the pain for a few hours. That doesn't stop the fact that my muscles are shit though."

"No, but you can do other things to help, if you just let yourself... be injured. I don't know how to explain it, but if you keep doing things you can't do just to prove you're fine, it's just gonna make everything worse."

"I'm not injured though, it just happened."

"Pretend you are, then. Pretend you've broken your ankle and then what're you gonna do? Walk on it and make it worse? No, you're gonna get crutches or something until it's better, or you're gonna rest it or put ice on it."

"I... suppose."

"Your legs are hurting. What do you need right now to help them?"

"Um... to sit down?"

"Brilliant, sit down then. You don't have to go to classes, so you might as well sit down." James moved over so Remus could lie back against the bed frame.

"Alright, now what?"

"I dunno, just do what you need to do. Are you hungry? I can steal some food from the Great Hall if you want, I'm good at that." Remus smiled.

"No, I'm alright, thanks."

"I'll bring your homework up after school, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Need anything else?"

"No, I'm okay."

"Awesome, and... ." James, who had been about to rush back out of the room, caught himself quickly and turned around. "Don't worry about asking for help, I... I know what it's like. Not physically, but sometimes my brain is pretty shit and it pisses me off, but then I ask you to help me with my schoolwork and stuff and it's easier. I guess I'm, uh... repaying the favour?"