Boys Will Be Bugs

Chapter 66: New Look

Remus had a few days of recuperation before school started. He spent it wandering the fields and digging through his wardrobe in search of something to wear. He wanted to turn up in his new punk get-up, which was considerably better than his last attempt at looking punk. He wanted a fresh start at Hogwarts, a brand new Remus, one with far more confidence and less concern about what other people thought. Unfortunately, his dad's words kept running through his mind, and he knew if he showed up at school in black nail polish and dangly earrings he'd be lucky to survive.

Then again, what did it really matter? He was lucky to survive every single day, just by existing. Why not go the full length, and live exactly how he wanted to, regardless of the consequences?

Was what he tried to tell himself, but it was hard convincing his mind to do what he wanted when his anxiety always liked to take over as soon as he showed any signs of confidence. Perhaps the blue hair would be too much, maybe the nail varnish as well, but he could get away with the earrings, couldn't he?

He packed up his trunk, filling it with his untouched school books. He didn't know how he was going to catch up with his classes; he may even be dropped down a year and he'd have to sit in with a bunch of twelve and thirteen year olds. Would he even get to be in the same classes as his friends now? He'd already avoided them for months now, so maybe they wouldn't even want to be his friend anymore. There were only so many letters he could ignore before they'd begin to give up on him completely. The problem was, he was too scared to go back, but if he didn't go back it would only get worse. At least this way, he'd be starting at the beginning of the year with everyone else.

September 1st arrived, and Lyall drove him to the platform in Hope's Austin Mini like always, and he stared out the window at the passing fields as he watched the sky turn from pitch black morning to bright orange as the Sun began to rise. He was tired, but he fought to stay awake.

"It'll be nice to see your friends, won't it?" asked Lyall, attempting to strike up a conversation.

"I suppose," replied Remus. "Hopefully they still remember me."

"Of course they still remember you, they'll be happy to see you."

"I won't even get to hang out with them, I'll be so busy trying to catch up with all the lessons."

"You didn't study?" Remus stared at the back of his dad's head, so intently that he was sure his dad could feel it. "Sorry," Lyall mumbled. "Stupid question."

"I'm gonna fall behind and they'll put me with all the babies."

"The babies?"

"The third years." Lyall laughed.

"You were a third year barely two months ago."

"Yeah and now I'm not. I'm older now, and I don't want to hang out with them."

"They won't put you with the third years. They'll probably just give you extra classes at the end of the day." Great, thought Remus. So he'd be stuck inside a boring old classroom while his friends were off hanging out together. He was really starting to wish he'd studied.

King's Cross soon loomed in front of them and Remus chewed nervously at his fingernails.

"You ready?" asked Lyall. Remus nodded, but he wasn't sure. He wanted to see his friends, but he didn't want to get stuck in baby classes and have everyone talk about him behind his back. Lyall helped to lift his trunk out of the car while Remus carried Ariahnrod's cage.

"We're a bit early," said Lyall. "Which might be a good thing, you can try and find an empty compartment." Remus took his trunk from his dad and made his way towards the wall between platform nine and ten.