Boys Will Be Bugs

Chapter 60: Anger

Remus didn't return home for a while. He wandered around the empty fields, the darkness not bothering his werewolf eyesight. He could see sheep dotted around, trees, fences, and the occasional car. It was chilly, despite it being summer, but he didn't feel the air. He didn't know what to do or where to go. He didn't want to go back home. It felt stifling, trapping him within the walls of the life he had with his mum, silently mocking the fact that he didn't have it anymore.

He lay down on the grass, feeling the slight dampness of the forming dew. It must have been quite late, or very early, depending on how you looked at it. His family would be looking for him. Let them, he thought. He wanted to be on his own. He didn't want to go home, or go back to Hogwarts, where he'd have his friends surrounding him, trying to talk to him. He wanted to stay here, in the field, breathing in the cool air and looking up at the stars. He identified as many constellations as he could, then stared for a long while at the moon. It was nearly full. He'd be transforming tomorrow night, protected in the empty room upstairs that his parents had allowed him to transform in before he went to Hogwarts. Lyall charmed it, to ensure he couldn't destroy it while he was in his wolf form. It was also soundproof, so no one could hear him. He didn't really like the room, and he'd hated it when he was a kid, but he'd had no choice. There was nowhere else for him to transform. There weren't any forests or old shacks nearby. His mum knew how much he hated the room, that's why she'd always buy him a book the following day as a reward.

And he'd destroyed all of them. All her records, too. Smashed to bits, every word and lyric that she had so loved, all destroyed in a matter of seconds by her son. He was a monster. That stuff wasn't his to destroy, but after all... how could you trust a werewolf? Especially one with a temper. He banged his fist on the ground beside him. He knew his dad could fix all of the books, all of the records. With a flick of his wand, they'd be fine. That wasn't the point, though. The point was, Remus had still smashed them up, ripped them up, lost his temper and all self-control. If his mum had seen, she would have been heartbroken.

"Come back then," he said out loud. "Come back and tell me off. Come back and explain to me why I need to keep my temper. Come back and listen to the records again, then I'll fix them!" He began shouting at the moon. "Come back if you don't want me acting like this, it's all your fault! You were supposed to stay alive, and you lied to me!"

He stood up, picked up a rock and threw it as hard as he could up at the sky. "How could you leave me?! What sort of mum are you?!" He fell back to the ground, on his knees. He was too angry to go back home. He'd end up shouting at the rest of his family, and while he didn't care about hurting anyone right now, he didn't want to get in trouble. He was still a child, after all. No child wanted to get in trouble.

"Remus?!" He heard his dad. Lyall had probably used a spell to figure out his whereabouts, so regardless of whether Remus replied or not, his dad would find him. Remus's initial instinct was to run off somewhere, deeper into the countryside until not even magic could find him, but he was tired. He had already given up, and he couldn't muster up the energy to fight anymore. With a sharp feeling of guilt, he realised that he just wanted to go to sleep.

"Remus?" Lyall was getting closer, and Remus stood up. He saw the light from Lyall's wand, and Lyall must have spotted him, because the light grew closer until the dark outline of Lyall's figure could be made out.

"What are you doing out here?" Lyall asked, gently enough. He wouldn't dare tell Remus off about anything right now.

"I needed to calm down," replied Remus, in a monotonal voice. "You weren't worried were you?"

"Of course I was worried," admitted Lyall. "But it's alright, as long as you're safe." Remus didn't reply, nor did he move from where he was standing. Lyall stepped closer.