Boys Will Be Bugs

Chapter 120: Village

Dear Sirius,

I'm still angry at you. Of course I am. I don't even know why I'm writing again, but I suppose a part of me wants to be able to talk to you without having to hear your reply. Maybe that's selfish, but frankly I don't really care. It's not as if there's anything you could say to me that would make things better. You told me you loved me. It was the last thing you said, and I hate the fact that the last thing you said to me was a lie.

I've still got the last letter I wrote to you. I never burnt it, and I certainly never sent it, and I know I should throw it away but I put it inside a box for safe keeping and I have no real desire to take it out again. I suppose it will stay there. I suppose this one will end up folded up beside it.

James will have already told you everything that I wrote to him. Then again, maybe he won't. I don't know if you two are on speaking terms right now, but I really don't care if he wants to stay being friends with you. It's not as if I'm there to see it, and it wouldn't be very fair to ask James to pick a side. You know how bad he is at making a decision. Remember when he was asked to choose between Honeydukes and The Three Broomsticks? He nearly had a breakdown trying to please everyone. Then we let him stir his Butterbeer with a liquorice wand and he was fine again.

The point is, I don't want to hurt James. He essentially saved my life after all, from you I should point out. I think I took him for granted, you know? Selene once said that the one who cares is the one who stays, and I suppose that sentiment can apply to this situation too. James actually thought about me, about what was best for me in a situation that involved myself being put in danger. I know he started it. I know he hung Snape up like that in the first place, but he stopped. He listened to me and he stopped his stupid little bout of teasing and he was there for me when it mattered. He never went as far as you did, because what you did wasn't just an immature display of "comedy", you put my life in danger. Hell, you put Snape's life in danger. Is that what you do? Is that what you're turning into? Someone who sacrifices other people just for your own pleasure?

You were always worried about your brother turning into just another Black Family Member, but I don't think it's your brother who you have to worry about. Maybe your intentions were different, sure, but it doesn't really matter what you intended to do if the results are still the same. It doesn't matter if you intended to avenge me if the end result was ruining my life.

Then again, perhaps I should be thanking you in some twisted sense, because I suppose if it weren't for you I wouldn't be here, would I? It's just a shame that you can't be with me.

You have no one except yourself to blame for that.

— Remus

***

The village was called Rhodfa Blaidd— Wolf's Walkway— or Rhodfa for short. To Remus's relief, it hadn't been as hard to find as he had first assumed, and the charm that had been placed around it was more advanced than possibly even Dumbledore had realised. He doubted that Dumbledore knew about the charm being able to detect werewolves, because it took a werewolf to find that out first hand, which still meant that Dumbledore had left Remus to fend for himself under the assumption that he'd have to trek through the entire forest on a wild goose chase. Now, however, wasn't really the time to be angry at Dumbledore. Remus was simply relieved that he didn't have to be responsible for an eleven year old kid getting lost amongst the dangerous environment.

He later found out that the charm was able to detect werewolves that didn't already have a pack, which meant that the village could not be pierced by wizard, muggle nor enemy packs alike. Instead, it acted as both protection and salvation towards werewolves who were lost and alone, like Remus and Emmeline.