Boys Will Be Bugs

Chapter 44: Owain

In every group of friends, there always seemed to be someone who went quiet for a while. Not so much in a disconnected way, or a drifting apart sort of way, just in a way that made the others worry because it was usually out of character. And it wasn't just one person, it was like a cycle. One person was quiet and then eventually cheered up and as soon as they did someone else took the role of subdued and distant. Sirius had been that person until that night by the fireplace, after which he started to cheer up again. Whether it was genuine or not, it was hard to tell, but he certainly didn't try to pick fights with anyone anymore and he started joining in with his friends almost as enthusiastically as he used to. He must have felt bad about the whole Carrow scenario, so he was attempting to compensate for it. But now it was Owain who kept his distance, and didn't speak as much as he usually did. The others couldn't work out what had caused the sudden change, not even Jethro, but Remus was still grappling with the same thought he'd been having ever since the polyjuice potion conversation. Even if he was wrong, he felt like he wanted to talk to Owain. He wasn't sure what about, or even if it would lead anywhere, but he still felt like perhaps he could understand whatever Owain was going through.

An opportunity soon arose for Remus to speak with him, and it was a situation that Remus hadn't been expecting at all, because he hadn't been expecting his instincts to be so correct. Of course, Owain didn't admit that Remus's instincts had been correct, but Remus didn't think he needed to. Whatever the situation, it was clear that Remus really did understand Owain more than he'd thought.

It was fairly late at night, at a time when the common room was empty. Even Remus had gone back up to the dorm after speaking to his mum, and he hadn't noticed Owain so he couldn't tell if he'd been there the entire time. But when he came down an hour later to pick up a book he'd forgotten, he noticed Owain sitting in the dark with his chin in his hands.

There was something about the scene that seemed odd. Remus couldn't put his finger on it immediately, but he knew that something was off.

"Hello," he greeted, grabbing Owain's attention. Owain looked up and barely acknowledged him. He just placed his head back down and continued staring at the floor.

"It's late," Remus continued. "Are you alright?" Owain shook his head. Remus went over and was about to sit down next to him, when Owain quickly stopped him.

"Don't sit down!" Remus stood for a second in a slightly squatted position before lifting himself back up to his full height.

"Why not?"

"You'll make the stairs change." Remus paused for a moment, and then the realisation hit him full force. Owain was sitting on the stairs to the girl's dorm.

He shouldn't have been able to.

"You... you're..." Remus didn't know how to begin.

"Actually..." Owain stood up. "Could you try the stairs? I think they might be broken. Maybe they won't change if you stand on them." Remus looked at him, seeing the slight desperation behind his eyes and sighed. He didn't want to try the stairs, because either they would work and he'd end up on the floor, or they wouldn't work and the consequential dysphoria would be hard to bear. He'd never tried the stairs to the girl's dorm for that very reason. He couldn't handle the thought of them not changing for him.

But he couldn't say that to Owain, so he brought his foot up to place down upon the first step. Maybe they would be broken.

He managed to climb a few stairs and with each step his chest tightened until he was sure he'd start tearing up if he moved any further. But with a single clunk sound marking a wave of relief, the stairs changed and Remus tumbled down the slide towards the floor. He didn't even care about the fall, he felt more ecstatic than Owain could understand. Any confirmation that the castle saw him as a boy never ceased to make him feel like he was floating. Ironic, since he was still splayed out on the carpet, unable to suppress a smile.