Boys Will Be Bugs

Chapter 79: New Life

Sirius looked terrified to see him, so he didn't reply right away. He stared at Remus as if he couldn't believe he even existed.

"Sirius?" prompted Remus.

"What... what are you doing here?" Sirius replied, in a cracked whisper that scared Remus. What the hell had his parents done to him?

"You stopped writing. We got worried."

"We?"

"James and Peter are here too... they're outside." He felt awkward now. Perhaps he'd overstepped too many boundaries, and Sirius certainly didn't seem pleased to see him. Sirius pushed past him and walked to the window. Remus couldn't see where James and Peter were standing from where he was, but he saw Sirius stare down with little expression on his face. Without a word, he turned back to Remus.

"Why would you do this?" The moonlight framed him in the window, but with his pale, sallow complexion he looked like a ghost. He looked... ill almost.

"We just... wanted to make sure you were okay." Sirius walked back over.

"You know I can't write to you–"

"But you didn't write to James either–"

"It's too tricky. My parents aren't exactly accepting of James so I had to stop, but I'm fine."

"You don't look fine." Sirius looked around at the closed door of his room. He was jumping at every single noise, and he was practically shaking with fear at Remus being there.

"Please just leave. Please, if my parents catch you I'll get into so much trouble." Remus didn't want to leave him there, but the last thing he wanted to do was risk Sirius getting into trouble, because judging by the state he was already in, he probably wouldn't have been able to handle it. Remus took Sirius's hand in his and drew him into a hug. Sirius tensed up, but after a moment he relaxed into Remus's arms.

"I missed you," Sirius whispered.

"I missed you too," replied Remus. "I bought you a present. I didn't send it, in case your parents caught you, but I'll give it to you at Hogwarts."

"Thank you." They pulled away from each other. Remus really didn't want to leave, and he was probably torturing James and Peter, who were still waiting outside anxiously. Sirius's hand still lingered in his.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Remus asked, slightly more forceful, but his voice still a whisper. Sirius didn't reply for a while.

"I'm too scared to leave," Sirius finally admitted. "They'd come after me if I did. I think."

"You think?"

"I don't even know if they want me to be their son anymore." Sirius's face was unreadable, but it must have been hard for him to conclude that his family didn't want him there, regardless of how obvious it had always been.

"I'm sorry."

"They've always wanted me to be the heir, you know? That's all they want from me, to be the man of the house. Frankly, I don't feel like much of a man right now, and I definitely don't want to be the heir to this stupid family."

"So run away." Sirius looked up at him.

"You think I haven't considered that? I just said, I'm too scared. And besides, I don't know if I want to leave my brother. There's still a chance for him..."

"Is there?" Sirius rubbed at his eyes, but Remus didn't think he was crying. He was more tired than anything.

"I hope so." A car drove past the window. Remus was acutely aware that James and Peter must have been freezing right now, and he was in two minds about whether to leave or not.