𝓛𝓮𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓮𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓭𝔂| 𝗜𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀 𝗕𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝟯

Baby Cries and No Dry Eyes

This is inspired by a COD Ghost fic I saw on Tumblr, but I obviously changed it a bit to make it my own, and I can't remember the name of the fic to give credit, but I just wanted to be clear that someone else had this idea and I just bounced off of it♡
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I check the time on my phone, sighing heavily as I finish the dishes, after just having fed myself and my newborn little girl. To say I'm exhausted would be an understatement, I knew being a new mother would be tough, I just didn't expect to be doing so much of it without Leon.

He's been at work since last night, insisting to me that it was unavoidable and that he had to go in and finish off some reports as well as assisting in some kind of investigation. I shrugged it off as usual, since the government clearly doesn't give a damn about his personal life, to them he's just a toy soldier they can order about, I'm not even sure they know about me and little D/N. It's nothing new, even when I was pregnant Leon was gone for weeks at a time on missions I didn't know if he would return from. When our baby was born Leon's missions did become shorter, but by the time he would come back I'd essentially still be doing most of the parenting due to his exhaustion and nightmares. I understood, but it still weighed me down. 

I gently put my daughter in her cot since she's been burped. I read her a story until she falls asleep, then close the door and slump onto the sofa in the living room, grateful for the minute of peace and rest. That's all it lasts though, because the front door opens and Leon comes in, dropping his keys in the dish as he takes off his shoes. I glance over at him, seeing that familiar drained look on his face, his hair is a mess and I'm sure he hasn't showered since I saw him almost twenty-four hours ago. He looks how I feel. 

It's not his fault he came in this late in the evening, and I'm glad he's finally home after, but for some unknown reason I'm immediately mad, pissed even. Maybe it's because I needed him, and once again he wasn't here. "Sorry it took so long." He mumbles. I nod, not replying as I look away, too annoyed to even stand and kiss him like I normally do. Our relationship is straining, and I'm not sure if we can keep going like this. "I tried to be as quick as I can, but-" Leon begins, but I end up reaching my breaking point.

"It's fine!" I snap, standing up and crossing my arms as Leon arches a brow, no longer is he a man who wants to go to bed, he's a man who has another mission; to figure out what's wrong with me, since I'm not spelling it out for him. He takes a deep breath, eyes squinting as he observes me. 

"Are you tired? I can take you to bed? I'll finish up the chores." Leon offers, but I scoff in return, shaking my head.

"I can take myself to bed, and I've already done all the chores, and I've put our baby to bed only a couple of minutes ago, so I don't need your help." I argue, lying through my teeth, I walk past him, but Leon gently grabs my arm to stop me, and I let him, but only because I'm desperate to lash out, I've been holding everything in and now I can't seem to stop myself from it all spilling out.

"Y/N, you know I would've done them when I got back, you don't need to keep overloading yourself with it all, I'm here too." He soothes, but it does the opposite. At this point there's practically steam coming out of my ears, it's bullshit.

"No you're not!" I shout, "You keep getting called away when you should be here with me and D/N. If I don't do the chores then they'll build up until it's too much. I wouldn't be so stressed if you actually chose us over your stupid job!" 

Leon's lips purse together as if he's holding back a retort, but inevitably like me, he ends up raising his voice too. I've hit a nerve and he's getting defensive over the truth. "I'm not choosing my job over my family, I fucking hate it! But you know I can't say no to them as much as I want to."

"But you can say goodbye to us so easily nearly every day?" I yell, tears forming in my eyes as he stays silent. "I've been doing all of this by myself, and I can't take it anymore!"

"I can't help being needed elsewhere!"

"But you're supposed to be here Leon!" I sob, opening my mouth to say something else, but then the shrill scream of our baby fills the air. My heart falls as I realise we've woken her by our arguing. I wipe my tears, giving Leon one last lingering stare before heading to the nursery, closing the door behind me.

I scoop her up, rubbing her back as I silently cry, murmuring "I'm sorry, it's okay" to her repeatedly. I sit at the windowsill, staring outside as she begins to calm down again, slowly her sobs turn to sniffles, which then fade as she watches me, her eyes drooping back to sleep, she's calm again but I can't find it in myself to put her down, I feel so guilty. 

I think of Leon, and how harsh I was to him, he didn't deserve all of that as soon as he came through the door, and though my points are valid, there's a better way we could've handled it. I stop crying, tears drying on my cheeks as I stare outside, time passing as my daughter nuzzles into me. I look down, grateful that she's not old enough to understand our struggles. Leon is needed here more, but he's right, his job...they're forcing him. I wouldn't be surprised if they're even blackmailing our safety in order to keep getting Leon to do their dirty work. 

I hear the door open, then without a word Leon comes over and takes our daughter into his own arms, rocking her gently as I take a shaky breath. His hand reaches out, stroking my cheek as I look up, seeing him watch me with sad, watery eyes. My heart drops at the realisation that he's been crying too. "I'll put her to bed then we should talk."

I nod, standing and kissing her head before going to the bedroom. I sit on the bed, waiting for Leon. He appears not long after, taking his spot on the end of the bed opposite me, his eyes focused on the floor.

"I'm mad at you, but I still love you." I whisper, now going about this the right way.

Leon nods. "I love you too, and our little miracle, and I know if the roles were reversed I'd be the same." His eyes meet mine, "You and D/N are everything to me, I'd never choose anything over you. My job isn't something I choose, if it was I wouldn't do it anymore, but I don't get to make that call. I want to be here, I'm trying to request shorter missions, they know that, but..." He leads off with a heavy sigh, running a hand through his hair.

"I'm so sorry, I wish they'd let you go once and for all, haven't you done enough for them?" I weakly say, tears falling again as Leon scoots next to me and pulls me in for a hug, my head on his chest as he coos and rubs my arm.

"I want that too. I promise I'll fight them harder, the next time they want me for a longer mission they'll have to come get me. I'll stay here with you, and we'll figure this all out together, it's been rough I know, but I promise it'll get easier, we'll be okay." He softly says, giving me a small smile.

I finally wrap my arms around him too, exhaling as he kisses my forehead and squeezes me tighter. "Can we go to sleep now? I'm so tired and feel like I'm gonna pass out."

Leon nods, "Let's go to sleep, you can have a lie in tomorrow and I'll get up with D/N, I'll try and make it easier for you, maybe you can have a few hours to yourself too if that's what you need."

I look up, weakly smiling back as I lean up and kiss his jaw, then climb into bed with Leon following me. The next day Leon makes good on his promise, I wake up at noon feeling much better, to see Leon's taken care of everything. After our argument I notice Leon begins asking some other agents to step in for him, and thankfully they do. He's at home more, helping with our baby as well as being here with me when motherhood becomes overwhelming.