𝓛𝓮𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓮𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓭𝔂| 𝗜𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀 𝗕𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝟯

Losing A Friend

The meeting felt ominous before it had even started, like we all knew something bad was approaching yet the only thing we could do is buckle in and face it head on. Leon stood at my side as I hesitated by the door of the conference room, other agents passed by me with dirty looks for being in the way. "We've gotta go in now." Leon murmurs to me, a hand pressing my lower back urges me in, unable to meet the eyes focused on Leon and I; the only couple in the DSO. 

I sit in the middle, hating the way the overhead lights seemed too bright, blinding me if I looked up for too long. The agents around me seemed unbothered by our summoning, as if this was a usual occurrence. Wrong. This has only happened twice before, and each time it wasn't good news. Each breath I took was a struggle, and even more so when our boss comes in, a sombre look on his face. "You're all wondering why I called you here today, well it's this; Agent Thompson has been KIA. I know some of you were close to the younger agent, and it only felt right to disclose to you all his passing..." The words become a blur, I can't listen as tears fill my eyes, my hands clench on my lap as I stare down at the table, ignoring the explanation and place as I feel my heart crack just a little. 

Agent Thompson was only two years younger than me, that's why we got along so well. We weren't best friends or anything, but we'd often talk and greet each other in the hallways of the White House, sometimes we'd check in with each other after missions. It's a harsh reminder of my job and the risks I take every time I head out into the field, and it reminds me of how easily death could creep upon any of us. The lump in my throat grows when I think that one day this meeting could be about me. About Leon. A sniffle escapes me, I can't imagine the pain his family must be feeling right now. 

"Has his family been notified?" I blurt out, breaking our boss' speech. I could feel the weight of everyone's gazes on me, but I ignore the confused looks, the concerned mutters as I wait for a reply. My boss nods, then dismisses me as he continues some talk about being ready to die in the line of duty or whatever. The other agents' mumbles fill my ears, until the one closest to me leans in. 

"Are you alright?" She asks sounding uncertain. I don't dare to reply, so I just nod, avoiding glancing at Leon who's no doubt staring at me from across the table. More tears well up in my eyes, betraying my actions, it feels like I can't stop feeling. Grief. Sadness. Worry. I can't anchor myself, I can't stop from acting like a civilian rather than a collected and calm agent that I should be. The talks grow now, and I hear my name mentioned from the lips of the agents, gossiping about my 'overreaction' and it's probably because I was 'fucking Thompson behind Leon's back'. 

Amidst the turmoil, I hear Leon's voice. "Y/N." He softly says, I hear his chair scrape then he's kneeling down next to me, taking my hands in his. My anchor is here to keep me grounded, to stop me from straying too far. "Talk to me." He murmurs, soothing my frazzling nerves. 

I shake my head, but words slide out anyway. "I just...I can't believe he's gone." I choke, then Leon lifts up a little so I can wrap my arms around his neck, burying myself into his comfort as he holds me steady, a hand rubbing my back as I silently cry. 

"I know," He gently says, "it's okay to grieve and feel sad about it, he was a good man and I hate that we've lost him. He used to ask me about you a lot." Leon gives me a watery smile, as if hurt by his death too.

Feeling understood, I wipe my tears, regaining some sense of duty, but when I look around the room I see a lot of eyes on me, most agents giving me dirty looks and confused glances. One even has the confidence to speak up to me. "You're being a bit dramatic about this, don't you think?"

My eyes widen in shock, I'm utterly ashamed of their words and coldness. It only makes me feel even more isolated and inadequate. Leon notices, because his grip on me tightens just a little as he sits up straighter, shooting a warning glance to the others. "She's fucking grieving, show some respect." He sharply snaps, leaving no room for further comments. Our boss, not acting any better, sighs and leaves the room, and I hope it's to cry rather than to go grab dinner. At the dismissal the agents begin to pile out, leaving us alone. 

"Thank you for standing up for me." I whisper thickly as I swallow, standing up with Leon's help, He nods, then pulls me in for another hug, his arms like a shield protecting me from judgement and sorrow. I'm grateful he's here because if I were alone it would've crushed me. His hand reaches up and cups my flushed cheek, his forehead pressing to mine. 

"I'll always have you back, and I'll always be here for you." He replies, giving me a small smile. I nod, quickly pecking his lips, then I take his hand, leading him out of the cursed room. I know that death is part of the job no matter which side you're on, but it doesn't make it easier to deal with. I know Thompson died protecting others, but his life was cut too short. We'll attend his funeral whenever that is, then after I know I'll cope again, knowing that now there's fewer of us to protect the world, but that won't stop us from trying.