Shy and timid, Onika lives in a dilapidated Detroit neighborhood with her abusive uncle. She is hopelessly in love with Marshall Mathers, a troubled young man that lives next door to her in their rough hood.
Marshall is rude, agressive and uncouth...
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The next day at work, I couldn't concentrate on anything. I kept messing up customers orders, serving people wrong drinks and dropping stuff like a stupid ass clumsy dumbass girl that I apparently am.
I mean, I have to be a dumbass, letting Marshall's lies, all that I'm feeling you crap get into my head and gas me up. Like I was seriously starting to allow myself to believe that he had a thing for me just like I have for him, and with that Kim girl finally out of the picture, maybe he was going to one day fall out of love with her and fall for me instead.
Now realizing exactly how STUPID it was for me to even think that. He and that girl have history. She's his baby momma, and I should've known them breaking up didn't really mean anything.
Like, they've literally broken up soooooo many times before. And having witnessed so many of their previous fights back when I used to live next door to them in my uncle's house, I should've remembered how they would always make up also.
And seeing them kiss how they did the other day, it was more than obvious to me that that's exactly what was about to happen there. They are going to get back together again, just as they've always done in the past, and Marshall would go back to treating me like I don't even exist.
Just like the old times, only this time it will hurt so much worse.
The heartbreak I'm currently experiencing and constant flashbacks of that kiss between them keeping me up at night. It's like, every time I close my eyes, that's all I see.
Him and that damn girl.
It was the way he had kissed her too, he's never even kissed me like that, with so much... I don't even know what it was anger mixed with passion, causing instant jealousy to spark in my own heart, and it hurt.
It hurts and I feel stupid all over again, just like I did after that night when I had let Marshall into my uncle's house when he was running from the cops and we fucked. I let that boy take literally everything from me that night, it wasn't even about my virginity, I let him straight into my heart because I was dumb like that. Waking up feeling all giddy and stuff, being so happy that the boy I've had a crush on for the longest had finally noticed me. Only for the realization to hit me like a ton of bricks that I was nothing more to him than just something to play with simply because he didn't have anything better to do that night. A distraction until he went back to his ex.
I had felt like such a stupid and naive girl back then, and right now I'm feeling the exact same way all over again.
Seeing him kiss Kim like that brought me right back to reality, and while I know that it's irrational of me to feel upset about this, because helloooooooo, Marshall and I, we weren't even anything, but it still hurts so freaking much, and I can't stop replaying that scene in my mind, my eyes constantly on the brink of bitter tears.
