Shy and timid, Onika lives in a dilapidated Detroit neighborhood with her abusive uncle. She is hopelessly in love with Marshall Mathers, a troubled young man that lives next door to her in their rough hood.
Marshall is rude, agressive and uncouth...
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After about an hour of tossing and turning in the bed in the guest room of Marshall's huge house, it very soon becomes obvious to me that I won't be able to fall asleep tonight. Like at all.
Too many things weighing on my mind, and heart, and it literally feels like I'm going crazy.
I can't believe that Marshall had asked me to marry him, like was this boy high out of his mind when he asked me that, because the idea of it is literally insane!!
Plus, it would never work, not like this, and then for him to straight up tell me we were done just because I wouldn't agree to his... proposal, if you can even call if that, even though I had done my best to keep my cool simply because I didn't want to give him the satisfaction, but honestly, his words really stashed me, I felt like my whole world stopped or something.
Then, this nigga gonna tell me that since it's already pretty late in the night, I didn't have to leave just yet, I could spend the night, but I best be gone first thing in the morning, before his daughter wakes up, and that honestly gave me a very horrible sense of dejá vû, thinking back to that other tike he's said something similar to me when that evil ass baby mama had made it look like I had cheated on him.
And honestly, a part of me is just as angry at him right now, and just as hurt by him as I was that night, but then there's also... something else I can't quite put my finger on, but it's a crashing feeling, it's like I'm becoming empty or something.
And it's pretty clear to me that I won't be able to fall asleep at all.
Ugh!!
Very slowly, I throw the covers off of me and get out of bed. Making my way to where I had left my overnight bag, I rummage through it and pull out a pair of sweat pants and put them on over my panties, pulling down the hem of the thin strapped top i was sleeping in. I ran my fingers nervously through my long black hair and then make my way out of the guestroom, heading instead towards Marshall's room.
Something that my friend Sharonda had recently said to me playing in my head repeatedly.
"Girl, you are so fucking right to not want to sacrifice your dream for no nigga, cause fuck that shit. But at the same time, I don't think that you should throw away somebody that you actually love and loves you back over a your dream neither. Like, I really wish you and that big-headed boy found a way to compromise and make both things work."
God bless Sharonda, like that girl really is like an angel sometimes. An angel that would cuss your ass out and whoop your ass in a second if you ever step out of line with her though. No wonder Marshall is low key scared of her.
But anyways...
I softly knock on his door, then make my way in, but Marshall is not there.
It occurs to me then that there's only one other place for him to be at right now, that is, if he's even still at home, because he did tell me before that he had a studio built in the basement of his house. And something tells me that that's where he would be of like myself, he also couldn't fall asleep right now if his life depended on it.
