Fateful Desire || Bang Chan

◇ 32 ◇

❤️‍🔥

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Alex's p.o.v

My heart was racing at the sight of Chan. For a second, I thought I might have been dreaming, but when I realised I wasn't, I couldn't stop the smile spreading across my face.

"Uh, hi," he said quietly, blinking in surprise at being caught out.

"Hi," I breathed. The warm sensation spreading through me automatically made me feel ten times better than I had all week.

When I sat up on the bed, Chan took a few tentative steps closer, looking hesitant. I'd never seen him like this before, with a face expressing a range of emotions, where usually he had a hard expression in line with his role of leader. There were shadows under his eyes, and his eyes themselves were shining as he looked at me, even if there was an element of guilt in them. It looked as though he hadn't been faring too well either.

Almost nervously, I patted the bed beside me as an invitation. It only took him a second to accept it, and when he sat on the bed near me, my cheeks blushed, but I continued to smile.

"I don't deserve that smile," he blurted out, surprising me. "After what I did to you... it was unforgivable."

"I'm happy to see you, though," I said softly. "I don't know how else I should be reacting."

"You should be yelling at me," he said glumly. "You should be telling me you hate me, that you want me out of your sight, and that you never want to see me again."

"But I don't feel that way," I said, pouting a little. "I don't want you to go anywhere, and I certainly don't hate you."

"Why?" he said, surprised.

"Because I know you didn't mean to," I answered truthfully. "That it was the drink making you do, and say, those things. I've been told multiple times what you're like when you've been drinking, that you're not yourself. I trust those guys well enough to believe what they say is true." I paused, thinking. "Chan... I forgive you."

"Really?" he said in shock, and I nodded. "I really don't deserve it, you know, I-"

"Tough, I'm forgiving you anyway," I said with a small smile, which he returned until his face turned sad again.

"I'm so so sorry, Alex," he said, taking a shuddery breath. "I really am. No words can express how remorseful I am. I hate myself for what I did, for hurting you. It was awful what I did, you never deserved any of it. I really am extremely sorry."

"I know," I said softly, hesitantly taking his hand, but I was pleased when he let me. "I can see how sorry you are, the guilt is all over your face. Yes, I'll admit, it was an ass thing to do, but like I said, I understand you never meant to. Besides, the doc says I'll live, so no grudges are held there."

"I'd die before ever hurting you again," he said quietly, gently squeezing my hand.

"I hope you never do," I whispered. "Because I wouldn't want you to die, I wouldn't want you to leave..."

Chan looked at me with wide eyes, reading my face and seeing the truth in it. In seconds, his unshed tears were spilling over as he gasped quietly.