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Alex's p.o.v
Pain. It was all I could feel. An excruciating, never-ending pain, one that would make anyone feel like that there was no way out of these pits of despair.
It was certainly enough for me to feel emotions that I hadn't felt in a long time, not since I'd found my place in my family. Negative emotions, depression, loneliness, emptiness... I had never been affected by them like this before, but after discovering a range of new positive emotions recently, it hit me harder than I'd ever thought.
I had been so close, so close to returning to my home, my family. But I had been cruelly torn away from them once again. It was difficult to keep fighting to stay alive, to keep fighting for all the love and warmth I'd been feeling when it was all so far away. My family felt so far away. I had no doubt they were looking for me, but would they ever find me? The longer my suffering went on, the more and more I felt like it was less likely. Would I ever see them again?
I hoped I could see them again. But the pessimism told me I wouldn't, and this, more than anything, made me want to stop living, to stop existing. It would make the pain go away after all.
But no, I couldn't. Despite it all, despite the physical and mental torture, the agonising pain, the want for it all to stop... I could never let go of one thought, one thought that somehow kept me going.
Chan.
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Fateful Desire || Bang Chan
Fanfiction©️ All Rights Reserved When a girl began working in the mafia world, she chose to stay solo. She trusted no one but herself. Whenever Alexandra did a job she never compromised herself or anyone close to her, she was that good that nobody would ever...
