You broke me for nothing...

Chapter 7

Kate pov...

"Plain old Kate... Seriously?"  Tara says looking at me raising an eyebrow and i blush and nod looking at my fingers. Tara had called to go out for lunch, and after the day i had yesterday i could use some girl time... I had not talked to Elliot anymore, not last night and not this morning. I dont know what to say to him. I felt so hurt. Elliot tried... He tried to talk to me, he tried to apologize but i ignored him. I dont know if that was a smart thing to do as it agitated him even more but i did not care. I could not get what he said yesterday out of my head. I was relieved when he left for work. I was more relieved when Tara called and i had a reason to leave the house. I had been on maternity leave for a week now and although i know i am extremely lucky that i have maternity leave at all. I was going a little bit crazy at home all day.

"Yep... Plain old Kate..." I mumble and sigh again... "Kate... There is nothing plain about you..." Tara says taking my hand in hers and i shrug my shoulders... "Can we change the subject?  I just dont want to talk about it anymore..." I sigh and Tara nods... 

"So how is the baby doing?" Tara asks and i smile at her rubbing my belly... "The baby is good... Growing good, kicking a little too good..." I say and Tara chuckles. "Oh, i remember that at the end of my pregnancy... The kicking would be painful sometimes..." She says and i smile... "It is uncomfortable at times but i dont mind... It is a small price to pay. We went through so much to get pregnant... So, feeling our baby kick brings me nothing but joy..." I say and Tara smiles... 

"Yeah, i remember when you got the test results from the hospital. Elliot was devastated that he was the one with the issue... To be honest we were all a little surprised that he agreed to a donor...." Tara says and i look at her a little confused... "Why?" I ask and she looks at me with big eyes... "You know male pride and all..." She said stuttering and i sigh knowing she is not telling me the full truth... I know Elliot was hesitant on using a donor at first but after some long talks he was on board. 

"Maybe in the beginning but after it sunk in that he would never have a biological child he came to terms with it... He is so happy with our baby boy now... Happy we are going to be a family... After our little boy is born, we are going to get married and just be a happy little family..." I say smiling rubbing my belly as i feel my little boy kick... Tara smiles at me but her smile does not reach her eyes. 

"What Tara? You look at me like i am dying for real this time..." I say a little annoyed and she sighs... She shakes her head... "It is nothing... Never mind..." She says and i groan... "Come on Tara... Since when are we keeping things from each other... Since when are you so cautious with your opinions... Just spit it out..." I say annoyed just before the waitress brings our food... 

"Can i ask you something and you dont get angry with me?" She says and i roll my eyes... "You can ask me anything... You know that..." I say and she takes a deep breath... "Do you love Elliot?" She asks and i look at her confused... "Of course, i do... What kind of question is that..." I say and she shrugs her shoulders... "Sometimes i feel like you just settled with him..." She murmurs and i roll my eyes. "And why do you think that..." I ask in return, and she sighs... "Okay... But dont kill me, okay..." She says and i roll my eyes again...

"You and Elliot... You are... You are... Well not like you and Chris were..." She says and i scoff... "Seriously?" I say raising an eyebrow and she nods... "You and Chris... You were in love... You could see it... Everyone could see it... You and Chris were passionate and just over the top sometimes... God it was annoying and nauseating at times... You and Elliot... You seem more passive with him... With Chris you were touchy feely... You seem more reserved with Elliot... I know you are a physical touch kind of person, but it does not show with Elliot..." Tara says and i sigh... 

"Tara... It is a different kind of love... No there is not the passion that Chris and i had... But look what that got me... The passion quickly disappeared when the hospital told me i was sick... Oh i remember like it was yesterday... It was magical... Poof... He was gone..." I say and Tara turns bright red... "Look... Elliot is not Chris... He will never be... But i see that as a good thing... Is Elliot a little dull and predictable sometimes... Sure... But he is dependable... He loves me and he loves our baby..." I say tearing up and Tara sighs....

"Kate... I am sorry... I did not mean to make you upset... With all this happening over the last week i just wonder sometimes how life would have looked like if it had been you and Chris...  We all just loved you both together so much... It was like a sure thing... Kate and Chris... We were all so... Stunned... So angry with Chris... We just could not believe that he ended it..." She says and i sigh before taking a bite of my lunch. 

"But he did... We can wonder all we want... It is no use because he did..." I say and she sighs and nods... "I know... But do you think you can ever forgive him... To be in the same room as him?" Tara asks and i sigh and shake my head as a tear runs down my cheek... "It still hurts Tara... He left me to die alone... He was supposed to be my rock... He asked me to marry him. That means for better and worse, right? In sickness and in health, right? " I ask Tara and she nods... "Well apparently not to Chris because when it got tough... He wasted no time and just left... Do you get how humiliating that was... How much that hurt... Think about it... How would you feel if Tyler did that... Leave you when you needed him the most..." I say and take a deep breath... Tara just looks at me not answering and i take another deep breath... "Passion is nice and all but that is not the most important thing in a relationship... At least not to me... Not anymore..." I say and Tara nods...

"Can we now please change the subject because i dont want to lose my shit in public..." I say and Tara nods and smiles changing the subject... "Have you guys got a name already for the little one?" She asks and i smirk and nod... "We do..." I say and she gets a twinkle in her eyes... "Wanna share?" She asks and i shake my head. "Nope!" I say with a big grin on my face...