You broke me for nothing...

Chapter 55

Kate pov...

It has been a week since i told Chris i was pregnant. Chris had been amazing. I dont know why i had been scared to tell him anymore... He was so happy... He had been so protective and sweet. Nothing seemed too much... Sometimes i caught myself wondering when it would all change... It made me feel guilty but i managed to push that feeling down. I kept telling myself Chris was not like that but sometimes my mind was just working against me. But Chris was making plans. He had done research on doctors. He had bought baby books to read, and many nights was spend talking about babies... Sometimes it made me emotional as i had lost Simon not long ago. It felt so wrong to be happy about this baby sometimes. It felt like i was replacing him. 

Chris understood and just held me letting me cry it out... Ever since he found out the baby was not biological Elliot's, he called it our boy... I dont know how that happened. He had told me he had wished he could have saved him. That he could have met him and help raise him... That he would have welcomed him with open arms. I believe him. I know he would... I didn't hate him calling Simon our boy... Somehow it was comforting. Like he was taking the dad roll over him even after death... He had certainly done more for Simon than his father ever did... Chris had even done more for me in the first week of finding out that i was pregnant then Elliot ever did... 

I think i have to let it go... Simon is gone... He will never be back... I need to focus on this baby to make sure he or she will be happy and healthy. I need to focus on the living and i think Simon would have wanted that... 

We are sitting at a doctor's office... A fancy doctor... I guess being Chris Evans comes with privileges as it is after the doctor's business hours. It was like a big secret operation. There has been paparazzi hanging around the set every day. It did not bother us as we got picked up at the house and then dropped off on set, outside of their view. 

But Chris was not taking any chances. We had a long talk and i wanted to keep it to ourselves for a little while. I didn't want to make an announcement. I didn't want that as i would like to enjoy this pregnancy in peace and stress free as much as possible. Chris didn't want it because he was scared of what he called the crazy, it would pull out of the woodwork. I think he meant Elliot as he still has not been found. 

Before we left for Arizona i had finally had a talk with the police about everything that happened. It was hard... Really hard and i had been emotional and needed a few breaks but eventually i got everything out... I told him the attack started when i found out he had been cheating and it spiraled from there. They asked if i knew with whom he had been cheating but i did not know. They asked so many questions that i did not know the answer to... So i dont know i was of much help... But i had talked to them and that was more than i could have done a few weeks before that... That was progress...

So, Chris had taken all the precautions. I could stop him from hiring security. I thought that was going a bit overboard. I was never alone anyway. I was at home with Chris or on the heavily secured set.  For our appointment we got picked up at the house and where being delivered at the doctor's office as close as possible to the front door so we could walk right in. 

So now we are sitting here. Waiting for the doctor. He had taken another test to confirm i was pregnant and was now looking at the results. Chris was holding my hand. I dont know why but i was nervous. Me and doctor's dont match. Chris apparently had explained this to the man, and he was understanding. We talked about it at first for a bit and he promised to go over every test and every result so i could see that what he said was right. He promised to do every test twice if we asked him to, just to make sure. 

The door opens and the doctor walks in. He is smiling holding a piece of paper. He sits down and puts the paper in front of us. "Well congratulations..." He says smiling. "You are indeed pregnant..." He says and i tear up with a smile on my face. Chris squeezes my hand and kisses my temple... "Kind of knew that..." I whisper and the doctor chuckles... "I know... But just to make sure... Always have to make sure... You have it in writing now..." He says and i nod... 

"So... What i want to do now... I want to do some blood tests to make sure that everything is good health wise... I got your files send over from the hospital and your doctor... So as long as you are with us in Arizona i want to see you regularly. Just to make sure that there will be no surprises and you dont have any complications. I also want to do your first scan to see if everything looks alright and the baby is healthy... You said you could be up to 8 weeks pregnant...?" He asks and i blush and nod... 

Chris just smirks... He thought the idea of me getting pregnant after just sleeping together ones was the best thing ever... The smug pride on his face was adorable though... I swear he was so excited and happy... Every now and then he would say that he was going to be a dad. Not to me but just under his breath as if he needed to remind himself and make sure it was real... But with the biggest smile on his face. God this baby is going to be so lucky with him as a dad. 

"That is a possibility..." I whisper and the doctor nods... "Well seeing your tests i can confirm you are about 8 weeks along... So, you were correct... So, the chance is that we are able to hear a heartbeat today..." He says and i smile... "Really?" I ask and the doctor smiles... "No promises... But we will do our best... Are you ready to see your baby?" He asks and i nod and look at Chris who has the biggest smile on his face...