You broke me for nothing...

Chapter 53

Kate pov...

"What is going on Kate...?" He whispers and i take a deep, deep breath. "I need to tell you something... But i am scared to..." I say and he looks at me worried and with fear in his eyes... "You are leaving... Aren't you..." He says and his tone breaks me... He sounds sad, in pain and broken... "What?! No... God no..." I say and grab his face to make him look at me... I kiss him... I want him to know that leaving will not be my choice... "I will not leave... Where you go i go... Until you tell me to leave..." I whisper into the kiss and press my forehead against his...

"I won't ever tell you to leave... I love you..." He whispers back and i close my eyes... "I love you to... But you might want me to, after what i have to tell you..." I murmur and take a deep breath again... "Kate... Please tell me what is wrong..." He says and i push myself back... "I am so sorry... Please dont hate me... Please dont get mad... I did not think it was possible... They told me it was not possible..." I whisper and look down... 

"I am confused..." He says and i take a deep breath. It is now or never... I dont know how else to tell him other than just come out with it... "I... I... I am pregnant..." I say and let the words take effect watching Chris... "You... You are pregnant?" He asks his eyes big and a stunned look on his face... 

"I think so... I took 4 tests... They all came back positive..." I whisper looking down at my fingers. I am waiting... Waiting for the yelling to start. Waiting for him to cuss me out... But it does not come... I feel him gently grab my chin between his fingers and lift my head up to look at him... He is smiling with tears in his eyes... "You are pregnant..." He says and it is not a question but more of a statement... "Yes..." I whisper and his smile grows... "I am sorry... They told me..." I start to say but Chris shuts me up by kissing me... 

"Why so sad, sweetheart..." He whispers and i start to cry... "You are not mad?" I whisper and he looks at me confused... "Why would i be mad, sweetheart..." He asks and i start sobbing... "I told you not to worry... I told you it was not possible..." I say between sobs, and he smiles... "I guess they were wrong..." He says with the biggest smile on his face... "We are going to have a baby..." He whispers and kisses me again... "You are not mad?" I ask him again and he looks confused... "Why would i be mad at you... You did not do this all on your own..." He says and i chuckle through my tears. 

"I thought you might think i tricked you..." I whisper and Chris chuckles... "Tricked me? Sweetie... I was there... I could have insisted on using protection... I was not bothered to..." He says and i blush... "You want the baby?" I ask and he looks at me funny... "Sweetheart... I want nothing more than to have this baby with you... Simon is getting a brother or sister..." He says and tears spring in my eyes... 

"Oh sweetheart... Did you really think i would not want this baby..." Chris says and he pulls me into a hug... "I dont know... Elliot told me he wanted the baby... Until he didn't... When he said it was not his baby and he... He... He killed him..." I whisper and lose it. Chris holds me rubbing my back letting me cry. This is the first time i said out loud that Elliot had killed my baby...  When i had calmed down Chris lets me go and looks at me a little confused...  I blush and look at my fingers again... 

"Simon was not biological his... He... He was... You know... Infertile... So, we decided on a donor..." I whisper and Chris takes a deep breath and i feel another set of tears coming as i think about it all... "We went through all that only for him to..." I say and start sobbing again... "Oh sweetheart... I am so sorry..." He says and hugs me again... "I can't lose this baby, Chris... I really can't..." I say while sobbing and Chris holds me tighter... 

"We will do everything we can to have this baby be happy and healthy, sweetheart... I will protect you both..." He says and i hold onto him tightly... When we pull apart, he cups my face and kisses me. He smiles again. "We are going to have a baby..." He whispers and i smile back at him nodding... "We are going to have a baby..." I say and for the first time since finding out i can truly smile and feel happy about it... But above all i feel relieved... Chris knows now, and he seems truly happy about it... I just have to remind myself that Chris is not Elliot. Thay he will not all of a sudden will feel different...

"When did you find out...?" He asks and i turn bright red... "The day i stayed home..." I say feeling ashamed... "Oh sweetheart... Why did you not tell me..." Chris says shocked and i get teary eyed again... "I was scared... That you would be mad... I am sorry..." I whisper and Chris shakes his head... "It is okay... But i am not mad, sweetheart... God i am going to be a dad... This is amazing..." He says with the biggest smile... 

"How are you feeling?" He asks and i chuckle... "Nauseas... The morning sickness is real..." I whisper and Chris sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose... "Sweetheart... You should have told me sooner... I could have been there for you..." He says in a soft scolding tone and i blush... "I did not want to bother you... There is nothing you can do. I did not want to distract you from your work..." I whisper and he rolls his eyes... "Chris... Seriously... There is nothing you can do... I just have to stick it out..." I say and he sighs... "Okay... But as long as you promise me, that if there is something i can do you tell me... I am going to be there every step of the way... Whatever you need, want or crave..." He says and i smile and kiss him... 

"I mean it Kate... I will do anything for you and our little one... I will protect you both... I love you so much..." He says making my heart melt... "I love you to..." I whisper back and we both smile like idiots...

But then there is a knock on the door making me almost jump out of my skin. It is someone from the crew saying they need Chris on set. I can see the hesitation in his eyes and i kiss him... "Go... We will talk more tonight at home... I'll be fine..." I say and he kisses me with a smile... "A baby..." He says all excited and it is contagious... "Yes... Now go... Or they won't allow me to be here anymore..." I say and Chris scoffs... "Then i won't be here either..." He says all cocky and i grin and shake my head... "Just promise to let me know if you need anything..." Chris says and i nod... "I promise..." I say and Chris gives me a quick kiss... "Can you promise me one thing though...?" I ask and he smiles and nods... "Anything..." He says and i blush... "Can we keep it between you and i for now..." I ask him and he nods. "I promise..." He says and i give him one more kiss before i finally push him out the door... 

As soon as he is gone i let out a deep sigh... He knows... He is happy... Telling him has drained me and i lay down on the couch. Dodger jumps up and cuddles into me... I smile and hold him tight... Soon i am off to sleep with a big smile on my face.