unspeakable | jegulus

broken pieces of yesterday's life

chapter title: the wind cries mary by jimi hendrix

They walked back to the castle when it started to get dark, the snow was falling heavier now. Thick, white flakes of snow like they were inside of a snow globe. Maybe it would stick around. James hugged Regulus close.

"You'll freeze! You're so skinny." He laughed, and James felt like his heart was a mess of confusion and sadness. He felt like he was changing so much so quickly. Like when you go through a growth spurt and all of your clothes stop fitting you properly.

They got back to the entrance of the castle and Regulus shook the snow from his curly hair like glitter before he went inside.

James felt eyes on them as soon as they entered the great hall, glares from the Gryffindor table, and he knew word was already spreading about what had happened today with Lily. It wouldn't help to sit at a table full of future Death Eaters, but he didn't want to help. He wanted to make the rumours worse. He kissed Regulus on the cheek.

"We should sit at your table, love."

"Agreed." Regulus peered at the unfriendly faces at the Gryffindor table impassively. He took his hand and led him to their usual spot.

"Aww, Regulus. You look lovely in red," Pandora cooed as soon as she saw them. "Is that how your hair is naturally?"

"Unfortunately." Regulus shoved an unruly curl of hair out of his face. The snow had melted into it, now it was frizzier and curlier than James had ever seen it. He had the same type of hair Sirius did: wavy some days, wildly curly other days. "I didn't use my usual potion for it this morning. I prefer not to wear it this way."

"I think it suits you, Reg." Barty said, reaching out as if to touch his hair. Regulus smacked his hand before he could lay a finger on him. "You look like Bob Dylan. It's not quite as curly as his, but the resemblance is a bit uncanny."

"I don't even know who that is."

He could kind of see it, in the pale oval of his face and his wild dark hair.

"He's a muggle singer. I like his songs."

"You'll have to show me over Yule break." Barty's fork scraped against his plate. He looked pale.

"James is coming with you for Yule?" His tone was impossible to read. Heads turned toward them. Snape, Avery, and Mulciber.

"Of course he is." Regulus smiled, small and sharpish, and grabbed his hand. "We've discussed it a lot, and he thinks it's a great idea. Do you have a different opinion?" Barty's black eyes flicked to James, staring at him intently.

"Is he going to meet your parents?"

"Obviously. He's going to meet everyone, Barty." Regulus looked at Evan, who seemed just as apprehensive as Barty. "Do you two have something to say about that?"

"Are you sure he's ready for that kind of...commitment?" Barty glanced at James. "You two have been together for like, a month."

"I know what I want," James said, Pandora's eyes flitted to his. They looked troubled. "I'm going with him. We've talked about it, guys. I know what I'm getting myself into. I've known from the beginning. You don't have to worry."

"Are you sure, James?" Pandora leaned toward him. "Do you remember what I told you about darkness in your energy, your spirit?" Her warm eyes were intent on his. "This is a path of darkness, James."

"I know it is. There are no other paths for me anymore, Pandora. I've made up my mind."

"I can't believe this." Barty grinned, colour coming back to his face. "You're really doing it, James?"