unspeakable | jegulus

flickering between the lines

chapter title: burning bridges by pink floyd

if you'd like you can add:

'Trade It' by Slow Pulp / 'Ain't it Easy' by Alex G / 'It's Like a Secret' by Skullcrusher

to your queue <3

Snow was falling over the castle in muted blankets of white, the sky  starless and cloudy and black, when James woke from a deadened and  dreamless sleep in the middle of the night. Wandless, he turned toward  the figure looming over him, his heartbeat in his throat, and looked  frantically for any makeshift defence he might muster but came up empty.  He couldn't be allowed anything that would let him hurt himself,  therefore he had nothing that would hurt anyone else either.

"I  hope you don't mind my checking in on you alone," said Albus  Dumbledore, with uncharacteristic seriousness, and uncharacteristic ice  in his voice. James relaxed instantly, no longer frantic to find  something to defend himself with, and stared at his silhouette with  owlish eyes, vision blurry without his glasses and worse than ever in  the dark, adrenaline still hot in his blood. "You are so seldom without  your fiancé. I thought it wise to speak with you now that he's left your  side, however briefly. He seems rather... controlling. Obsessive,  perhaps. Would that be an accurate assessment of your relationship with  him?"

"What?" James was dazed. He felt like he was still asleep and dreaming incomprehensible dreams.

"Forgive me. I know these are strange questions, and this is a strange hour."

"Why  are you here?" James tried to get his bearings. He put on his glasses.  He fumbled to turn on the lamp, and Dumbledore flicked open something  that looked like an overlarge lighter. The light flew from the lamp into  the lighter. He flicked it shut, and every bit of light in the room  went out. His eyes were as hard and shiny as blue stones, oddly opaque  in the dim.

"Best we keep this meeting far from Poppy's  attention." James noticed the buzz of a muffling charm for the first  time. "In matters such as these, discretion is key."

He realized, finally wide awake, that Dumbledore no longer trusted Regulus Black.

James  rubbed at his eyes, hoping to come across as if still sleepy and dazed.  Dumbledore seemingly still trusted James, he was meeting him without  Regulus. Why? What the hell happened when he was too out of it to  remember a thing? What had they done to make Dumbledore think of them so  differently? It was James' job to figure that out whilst somehow  seeming oblivious.

"I guess Reg is a little bossy  sometimes," James said like an admission, like a confession of some  oblivious variety, he tried to sound foolish, he kept his voice small.  "Why do you ask?"

"Why did you hurt yourself?"

"What?"

"What did Voldemort make you do to demonstrate your commitment to his cause?"

"Oh,"  James whispered. "Well..." They hadn't agreed what they were going to  tell him. Was this part of Dumbledore's strategy? To ambush him like  this so they couldn't plan before a formal meeting? "I was made to use  unforgivable curses."

"Which curses?" Dumbledore did not sit. His voice was so cold he hardly sounded like himself.

"The cruciatus curse." James looked at the blankets. He looked at his knees.

"And another?" Dumbledore prompted. James frowned. His voice shrank.

"The  killing curse," he said the words like the killing things they were. If  anyone found out about this, the wrong person, James would go to  Azkaban. He would be sent to hell on earth for the rest of his life.