unspeakable | jegulus

baby, i don't wanna know

chapter title: silver springs by fleetwood mac

James didn't have a moment alone, not even after dinner was over,  because Barty was still there, like a ghost haunting an abandoned house.  He skulked up and down the halls, draining all of the life force from  it's inhabitants. Barty Crouch Junior, the enemy of joy. Walburga had  dismissed them with a warm smile as soon as their plates were clean. As  Regulus predicted, she had expressed the depth of her worry over him,  her concern, until he fixed his eyes on her and told her, not asked—told  her—that he was going to go wherever he needed whenever he wanted  because he was a man grown, not a child.

She didn't like  it, but she smiled just the same as she always did. It was unsettling,  the relentlessness of that smile. James suddenly wondered then, looking  at her, if that was how other people saw him when he smiled at them all  the time. It wasn't really the same as Walburga, though. He was smiling  because he had a cheerful nature... right? The only issue with that  theory about himself and the way he came across to other people was the  unfortunate fact that he hadn't had anything to be cheerful about  lately, but he was still always smiling. The expression was as constant  as ever. He sat across the table from Walburga and smiled at her, while  she smiled at him, both smiles like a mask for some deeper, uglier  feeling neither of them could express on the surface.

Lately,  he'd been feeling like he was a lake, and all anyone could see when  they passed by him was a still surface, with nothing to indicate the  depth hidden beneath the stillness all over him. Regulus held his hand  when they walked up to his bedroom with Barty.

"How long  are you planning to stay?" Regulus asked. His voice was as cold as ice.  Maybe Barty had finally managed to piss him off too.

"Your  mother told me I could stay in one of the guest rooms, when I got back  without you. She said it was getting dark and it was far too late for me  to travel home—"

"Does your family not have a floo?"  Regulus asked him temperamentally, apparently just as angry as James  suspected he might be. Barty glanced at James while he spoke to Regulus.  James glared.

"I thought you wanted me around. I guess I was wrong."

"Are you seriously making this about you  after what happened today? I'm sick of this." Regulus slammed open the  door to his room and strode in, wrath dripping off of him like snowmelt.  James closed the door behind them. The noises of the house always fell  perfectly silent when this door was closed. He idly wondered if it was  enchanted. "What is your problem with James? He did everything you  wanted him to do. He proved himself. He tried to talk to you about the  problems between the two of you reasonably, like adults, and still you  wont leave it alone. What is your problem, Barty? Seriously. I'm sick of  this fighting. It isn't fair that the two of you are feuding with each  other when you are the two people in this world that I care about the  most. If you could just look past whatever issues you have with each  other I'm certain you would be good friends, but you wont do it. You're  both too bullheaded—"

"I have plenty of perfectly good  reasons to hate him," said James. Barty turned to look at him, his black  eyes shining ominously in the warm light of this room. They stared at  each other in silence for a long time. James didn't like looking at  Barty. He wanted to go somewhere he wouldn't have to see him ever again,  somewhere far away from both of them. He needed to be alone. "Will you  always hate me?"

"I don't hate you." Barty looked away. He  seemed uncomfortable. Was it difficult for him to talk about his  emotions? He was so similar to Regulus it was dizzying. They shared all  of his worst qualities. Maybe that was a bad thing to think about your  boyfriend, and his best friend, but James couldn't help it. All it took  for Barty to piss him off was a look in his direction. He couldn't stand  to breathe the same air as him. "I don't trust you, and I don't like  you, but I don't hate you."