C U R I O S I T Y | Aemond Targaryen

S I X T Y - T H R E E

Aemond's P.O.V.

I don't deserve this. I really don't.

Cordelia's words consume my thoughts, her brutal honesty torments me of one simple truth. We took her for granted. Moments of us together play out in my mind, and every moment shows me how we slowly ruined her. At the time, I believe it was to protect her, but it did the same damage as what I tried to protect her from.

You're embarrassed by me.

I pinch the bridge of my nose, hating myself for giving her any reason to believe those words. My head hangs low as I sit on a chair by the fireplace in my suite, and the recollections of the day before slowly drown me in shame. I could never be ashamed or embarrassed by Cordelia, but all my actions prove otherwise, and I should have realized my mistake.

We never should have brought Cordelia here, but I didn't want her to be alone for the holidays. I also shouldn't have agreed with my brothers about lying to our family of Cordelia's past, but I feared what could follow when telling them the truth. Though I knew she wouldn't approve of us lying, I thought she would trust us, but it was the very thing that made her lose her trust in us.

No one has ever made me feel so little as you three did today.

The sight of Cordelia leaving, broken and detached, had Aegon go straight to our family and tell the truth. Alicent and Otto were furious, truly vicious in the matter of Cordelia, but Viserys ignored all their opinions. He was more than alright with her living with us, going as far as offering to give her an allowance to help her get through college.

My mother and grandfather are going to continue to fight my father about this situation, but for now, they are powerless to stop Cordelia from living with us. She's most likely at home right now, pondering her next steps and wrestling with the internal struggle of her emotions. Daeron almost left yesterday to go after her, but I talked him out of it, explaining to him how she needed space from us now more than ever.

I suspect Daeron is in his room at the very moment, trying to get in touch with Cordelia by calling or texting her. Aegon is possibly somewhere in the house, thinking of ways to right our wrongs for when we go back home. Though I only sit in front of the small crackling fire, counting all my mistakes and repeating a question that plagues my very soul.

There's always going to be a part of me that is dirty and cheap and worthless... But I love all the parts of me. Can you say the same about yourself?

No, I can't say the same about myself.

I hate consistently prioritizing the family dynasty above all else, above Cordelia and my feelings for her. I'm ashamed of giving up on my dreams without a fight, and watching Cordelia do it for me after all I put her through. Most of all, I hate being a game piece in Iron Throne Enterprise, hate the part of me that became twisted and cruel and wretched for the role I play in my family's dynasty.

... But it's not too late. I can change. I can be better.

"You can't even greet me at the door? Um, hello?"

Hopeful thoughts vanish in my mind from the sound of a certain voice, one I've come to despise. My eyes slide away from the golden fire, and I rub a tense thumb over my bottom lip as Alys Rivers strolls into the suite. I completely forgot she was coming the day after Thanksgiving to spend the holidays with me, and I have to take a deep rigid breath at the sight of her.

Alys wears a dress in a shade of dark purple so deep that it appears almost black, the fabric bleeding of polish and elegant design. Her makeup is sharp and sinister, like someone striving to be seductive, while her hair is thick with precise curls. I spend half a second glancing in her direction before facing the fireplace again while she plops down into the chair a few feet away from me.