Alan Rickman Character Imagines

Severus Snape

It was the week of the Yule ball and being a teacher you couldn't get out of attending. You and your husband both tried to get out of going, insisting that Minvera and the other teachers were more than capable of chaperoning and were more than willing to do it. Severus hated social gatherings such as these and you hated dances in general. You hated dresses, you hated everything about it.

Severus knew how much you were dreading going so he did his best to try and make it as painless and enjoyable as possible. He bought you a bouquet of roses and asked you to be his date to the ball. He also took you into the hall where he taught the students how to dance. He took you in private after the students were in bed. He'd dim the lights and teach you how to dance since you didn't know how. It was really romantic, being alone with him dancing to soft music. You loved every moment of it. However you were wearing your normal clothing, nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary. 

It was now the night of the Yule ball and you were getting ready while Severus was waiting for you in the living room of your shared chambers. He looked dashing in his black suit as opposed to his normal teaching robes.

You had your makeup done and your hair pulled into an updo. Your dress was hanging on the closet door as you were assessing yourself in the mirror. You had always been a bigger girl. Your stomach was never flat and your thighs rubbed together, your back had rolls. You have tried many different diets and always got fed up when you didn't see results and drowned your sorrows in a pint of ice cream. Severus had always been supportive of whatever you wanted to do with your body. He always said he'd love you at any weight. If you wanted to lose weight he supported and helped as much as he could. Doing the diets with you and encouraging you when you get frustrated. And when you got angry and gave up deciding you didn't want to do the diet anymore he supported you then too. As long as you were not at a weight where it was affecting your health in any negative way he didn't care about your weight. 

However tonight all you could think about as you were looking in the mirror was how much you wanted to be thinner. Your stomach hung out more than you liked and all you could think about was how terrible you were going to look in your dress. The beautiful dress that Severus had bought for you especially for this occasion. You felt like it was going to look terrible on you. You weren't sure if you had gained any weight or not but it seemed like you were bigger than you were a couple weeks ago.

You sighed and looked at the clock, at this point you were so scared of how you were going to look in your dress you didn't even want to go. There was a light knock on the door and you jumped when you saw Severus standing in the doorway.

"Darling you're not dressed, we're going to be late. Do you need help putting your dress on, Love?" Severus asked in a hushed voice.

"No, I haven't tried putting it on... I don't want to go. I don't want to put that dress on."

"Why ever not, do you not like it? Did we pick the wrong color?"

"No I just. I think I may have gained some weight the past couple weeks, I don't think I'm going to fit in it and if I do I don't think I'm going to look good in it. I don't wear dresses, I don't have the body to wear dresses, I'm too fat to wear dresses." 

"Hey, hey. None of those things are true. You are beautiful, there is no set body type that can and can't wear dresses or any specific type of clothing. I understand you may not be comfortable in them but you loved this dress when we went to the store and picked it out together. I can see by the way you're looking at it that you're longing to put it on. Your weight doesn't matter, you're going to be beautiful in it regardless."

"You know that's not true. If I'm too big for it it's going to look ugly and ridiculous and there's no point in me putting myself through that if I don't have to. It's humiliating. I think I need to start another diet. I was reading up on this one where." He interrupted you.

"You don't need to start a diet. You know I'm normally very supportive but I can't be this time. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not overweight. By a few pounds yes sure but who cares so am I, so is Albus, so is almost everyone. If you wanted to start a diet because you were worried about your health then fine but that's not why you want to start a diet."

"There is no harm in wanting to lose some weight." You argued.

"The fact you believe that is concerning. There is a lot of harm that can come from losing too much weight. You need to lose at most 5 pounds, then you would be at the exact weight someone your age and height should be. For you to achieve that the most you would have to do is go on a walk once a day perhaps after dinner. Hell I would happily go with you. But starting a diet when you already count your calories and watch what you eat is going to be too much. How much weight are you even thinking about trying to lose?"

"I don't know. As much as I need to so I can feel better." You shrugged.

"But you're not doing this to feel better, love. You're doing this to look better and you don't need to look better. You're beautiful, stunning, breathtaking. You don't need to lose any weight. You just may need to talk to someone about your self image. The only thing wrong with you is how you see yourself. I wish you could see you how I do. I wish you could see how beautiful you are. When I look at you I don't focus on your stomach, there are so many beautiful things about you to look at that no one is looking at your stomach. Please stop focusing on the things that you think are wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you."

"Everyone has something they don't like about themselves, Sev. It's human nature." You argued.

"You're right, everyone does. I don't like my nose, I hate how it's too big for my ugly face. I hate how dark my fucking eye's, they look your staring into two black holes. I hate my hair and how it gets greasy within hours no matter how thoroughly I wash it!"

"Stop, stop that's.. None of those things are true!" You yelled.

"No? How does it make you feel to finally hear me say things like that about myself?" He stepped forward so he was nose to nose with you.

"It hurts, because it's not true. None of that is true."

"What, you don't like hearing me talk like that about myself?"

"No!"

"Then how do you think it makes me feel hearing you talk like that about yourself all the time?" You sighed and lowered your head. You hated hearing him speak about himself so horribly. He never does that and now you know why, he doesn't want to make you feel the way you make him feel when he hears you say things like that about yourself.

"You're right, I wouldn't want to hear you talk like that, it would hurt too much."

"I have tried to be supportive but I cannot support diets anymore, you don't need them and they will end up making you sick, not better. What I can do is talk to Madame Pomfrey about finding someone for you to talk to." He caressed your cheek and lifted your face for you to look at him instead of your shoes. "I love you, you are the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes upon. I want you to see that person too."

"I do see that person, when I look at you. Those things you said you didn't mean them did you?"

"Not all of them, but some yes. You are right in the sense that no one likes everything about themselves. But we cannot dwell upon things that we cannot change, whether it be because it's part of who we are or because it's not healthy to change those things. I have accepted my flaws. Physical, mental, emotional because they are who I am. You love me for who I am so I have no desire to change that person."

"We can talk to Madame Pomfrey together. I want to accept my flaws too."

"We will, after the ball, get dressed, love. You owe me a dance."