you would still miss me in your bones

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A few weeks into the school year, Victoria is struggling more than ever. The initial excitement of senior year has worn off, leaving her to face the reality of her heartbreak. The encounter with Caitlin still haunts her, and it's taking a toll on her well-being. 

In the mornings, Victoria finds it increasingly difficult to get out of bed. Her appetite has all but disappeared, and she often skips meals, pushing food around on her plate when she does sit down to eat. Her clothes are starting to hang more loosely on her frame, and her friends are beginning to notice the changes.

 In class, Victoria's mind is a million miles away. She stares blankly at her notes, unable to concentrate on the lectures. Her professors' words blend into a dull hum, and she misses assignments and important points. Her grades, once a source of pride, are beginning to slip. Jada has noticed the changes in Victoria. After class one day, she approaches Victoria in the hallway. 

The hall is bustling with students, but Jada's focus is solely on her friend. "Hey, Vic, can we talk for a minute?" Jada asks gently, her concern evident. 

Victoria forces a smile. "Sure, what's up?" Jada guides her to a quieter corner of the hallway. "I wanted to ask how you're really doing. You don't seem like yourself lately." 

Victoria looks away, her eyes welling up. "I'm just tired, I guess. It's been a lot to handle." J

ada's expression softens. "I can see that. But it's more than just being tired, isn't it? You're not eating, and you seem so out of it in class. It's okay to admit if you're struggling." 

Victoria's facade crumbles, and she wipes away a tear. "I don't know what to do, Jada. Everything feels so overwhelming. I thought I could handle it, but I'm falling apart." 

Jada pulls her into a comforting hug. "You don't have to do this alone. We all care about you"

 Victoria nods, her voice barely above a whisper. "Yeah, maybe you're right. I just... I miss how things used to be." 

Jada gives her a reassuring squeeze. "I know, and it's okay to feel that way. But we'll get through this together. You're strong, and you have people who love you."

 On the day of the first basketball practice since her breakup with Caitlin, Victoria feels a knot of nerves tightening in her stomach. As she gathers her camera equipment, each movement feels labored, her hands trembling with apprehension. 

She knows she made a commitment to continue shooting photographs for the team, but the thought of facing Caitlin again fills her with dread. Taking a deep breath, Victoria tries to steady herself before heading to the gym. 

As she enters, she notices that Caitlin and Coach Bluder are the only ones there, chatting near the sidelines. Victoria curses herself internally for being so early, her heart rate skyrocketing at the prospect of facing Caitlin alone.

 For a moment, Victoria considers turning around and leaving, but she knows she can't avoid Caitlin forever. With a deep breath, she gathers her courage and forces herself to walk toward them, her steps feeling heavier with each passing moment.

 As she approaches, Caitlin and Coach Bluder turn to greet her, Caitlins smile faltering slightly at the sight of her. Victoria offers a weak smile in return, trying to hide her discomfort. 

"Hey, Vic, good to see you," Coach Bluder says warmly, breaking the awkward silence. "Are you here to shoot some photos for us?" Victoria nods, her voice barely above a whisper. "Yeah, just getting set up." 

Caitlin's gaze lingers on Victoria for a moment longer than necessary before she looks away, her expression unreadable. Victoria's heart sinks at the sight, feeling a pang of sadness mixed with resentment. As she sets up her camera equipment along the sidelines, Victoria can feel Caitlin's eyes on her, burning into her skin. The tension in the air is palpable, and Victoria curses herself for putting herself in this situation. Despite her best efforts to focus on her photography, Victoria's hands shake as she adjusts the settings on her camera.

As practice gets underway, Coach Bluder gives Victoria an apologetic look and excuses herself to retrieve something from her office, leaving Victoria and Caitlin alone on the sidelines. The silence between them is thick with tension, each moment stretching on uncomfortably.

 Finally, Caitlin breaks the silence, her voice hesitant. "Victoria, can we talk?" Victoria's jaw clenches, and she forces herself to meet Caitlin's gaze. 

Her tone is cold and dry as she responds, "I don't think there's anything left to say, Caitlin." 

Caitlin winces at the sharpness of Victoria's words, her expression pained. "I know I messed up, Vic. I should've handled things differently." 

Victoria's eyes flash with anger, her walls rising higher with each passing second. "Yeah, you should've," she retorts, her voice dripping with bitterness. 

Caitlin takes a step closer, reaching out tentatively. "I never meant to hurt you, Victoria. You have to believe me." 

But Victoria pulls away, her defenses fully armored. "I don't want to hear it, Caitlin. What's done is done, and I hope you and Connor are happy together. Funny to think about how you hated him, but I guess many things change in not even 24 hours." 

With that final declaration, Victoria turns away, her jaw set in determination. She focuses on her photography, refusing to let Caitlin's presence distract her any longer. The silence between them stretches on, heavy with unspoken words and shattered dreams. 

As practice draws to a close, Victoria captures the last few moments on her camera, her hands steady despite the turmoil raging inside her.  Victoria sets down her camera and approaches the players to say goodbye. She hugs each of them warmly, exchanging a few words of encouragement, they were her best friends after all.

 But when she reaches Caitlin, Victoria hesitates, her heart heavy with unresolved emotions. Caitlin meets her gaze, her eyes filled with regret and longing. Victoria's jaw tightens as she fights to keep her composure. With a curt nod, she offers a wordless goodbye before turning away, unable to bear the weight of Caitlin's gaze any longer.

 As she walks back to her dorm, Victoria feels the floodgates of emotion finally give way. The tears she's been holding back come pouring out, hot and relentless. She stumbles through the empty corridors, her sobs echoing off the walls, each step feeling heavier than the last.

 Finally reaching her room, Victoria collapses onto her bed, her body racked with sobs. 

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