Impress Me Not: Neon Underground

Chapter 29

He was pissed. Nothing could seem to calm him down. Mateo was glad that he had eaten before dealing with the asshole, because he was too angry to think about food right then. Even a workout was doing nothing to wear him out. It was one of those things that he was never going to get over.

He was being such a condescending asshole, telling him that he knew how Mateo felt. That was stupid. How would he know? He got the best of both worlds. The smug man probably already found a job too. Mateo hated how that was one of the first questions the man asked. He really acted like he cared.

There were just some lines that Mateo never thought Lucas would cross. He wondered just how long Lucas had feelings for Anton. Was it the whole time? He really should have just told Mateo before or something. The fact that he literally grabbed him right when the man broke up with him. It was a fucked up feeling to have. Mateo knew that it was his fault that their relationship ended, but it still felt like shit knowing that his best friend wound up dating him. Just swooped in, like some stupid superhero or something.

And now he wanted to try and be friends still? Why? So Mateo could watch him kiss the man that he had fucked just a couple of months ago?

Mateo really didn't know why he even cared about Anton, honestly. They never made their relationship official, and he was mostly thinking about dating him for a contract. If anything, it made logical sense to just go back to normal with Lucas and shrug it off.

But when he was with Anton, it was the first time someone actually accepted him for who he was, even the side that he had worked hard to hide from everyone. Lucas was another person who accepted him for every part of him. It took a lot for him to ghost Mateo, he knew. But the fact that the two people that knew him so well wound up dating each other just made him feel like throwing up.

It might have been a good idea to just put things behind and be friends. Maybe then he would have more things to do, or just someone to talk to about some of the crazy shit that he had been going through. Mateo had been going through different waves of wanting to talk to someone about the nights with Melvin, and never wanting a soul to know. It seemed so private, and he knew that it would freak most people out just hearing about it.

Anton would probably freak out knowing that he was doing anything with his cousin. That might be interesting to tell him, just for his reaction alone. The coffee boy wasn't the type to react at all, but he bet when he did it was great.

Melvin might not like that, though. Mateo hated that he cared so much for the man. He really wanted to focus on himself, but he kept on thinking about the night that he spent in that private room. He wanted the man to treat him like he was the only person in the world, the center of all his attention. It gave him a high that he never knew he could have.

Not even a good work out could do anything to relieve the stress of everything. Mateo went back and forth in his thoughts and feelings, even when he was blasting music in his ears to try and drown them out. No matter how much he pushed himself, he couldn't wear himself out.

He didn't want to think anymore. He barely wanted to feel. There was only one thing that he did want, and he wasn't even answering his phone. Mateo had gotten his number the last time he scheduled a room. He wasn't sure about calling him for anything other than business, but he tried. And, just his luck, the man wasn't responding at all. Mateo wanted to call, but he wasn't sure what he would even say if the man picked up.

It could be a business phone, but it just seemed so personal a phone number, especially with how he had answered it the last time, when they had set up a time. There was no standard greeting or anything like that. It was treated like a personal call.

Personal.

Yeah. He needed something personal right then.

He drove up to the club without a second guess. Hopefully the owner would actually be there, because he desperately needed him. It didn't matter if he was still trying to figure out what they were, or give some distance so that he could try to ween himself off from him. Mateo didn't care anymore. He didn't even care about the money.