Impress Me Not: Neon Underground

Chapter 76

He left him alone for like one minute. Mateo swore he would never make that mistake again. Because all it took was that and now he was marching into the backyard, looking just as pissed as the day that he wound up in the hospital.

The plus side was that he was feeling good enough to walk around again. Mateo was happy for that at least. He had successfully gotten his clothes on at the speed of light and had started to make his way outside. It was a good thing, right?

Mateo wished he still stayed in his damn bed.

"Mel, wait!" Mateo followed him immediately. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to get some fresh air," Mel replied, opening the back door and stepping out in one fell motion. "I'll be just fine, Mateo. You don't have to worry about me so much."

Oh yes, he did! First of all: it was raining outside. And Melvin had only put on a pair of pants. Second of all: he had a bad feeling that he wasn't going outside just to get some fresh air. There was something about the way he looked that just made him have a bad feeling in the bottom of his stomach.

"Mel, come back inside," Mateo asked. "It's pouring rain right now, and it's just going to make you sicker."

"I'll be fine," Melvin started looking around for something. "What did you do with the ashtray?"

"I threw it away."

"Why?"

"Because you don't need it anymore," Mateo said. It felt strangely scary telling him this. Mateo should have asked for permission to get rid of his things, but he just was scared that the man would tell him no. And he wanted to make sure Melvin actually quit smoking. He couldn't go through another scare like this. Not again.

"What else did you throw away?!" He looked just as mad as Mateo thought he would be.

"Your cigarettes," Mateo answered. "That and the ashtrays. That's it."

"Fuck," Melvin started moving more things around, probably trying to look for more. Mateo had used some extra time earlier that week to completely go through his house. He also asked Divine and Georgina for their help, and they seemed to know where all of his hidden stashes were. "Why the fuck would you throw them all away?!"

"Because you can't keep smoking, Mel!" Mateo matched his tone. The rain was already loud, so they were already having to yell. It was a full on rain storm, water pouring down, and this man was standing in it like it was nothing looking for a damn cigarette. "Come inside, Mel. You don't need it!"

"You don't get to tell me what I do and don't need!"

"Yes, I do!" He was starting to get pissed off now. But he wasn't going to give up on this. Mateo walked out into the rain with him, about to pull him inside himself when the man backed away from him. "Look, I know you're pissed, and your dad's an asshole, but you can't fuck your lungs up anymore! You're going to kill yourself!"

"Why does it matter anyway?!" Those dark blue eyes hit him like daggers to his heart. There was so much anger in them that all seemed to come out now. It was raw and burnt. "You're just here because your beach house got trashed, anyway. Why do you even care?!"

"Because I love you dammit!"

You know those scenes in those chick flicks where the couple argues in the rain? Mateo used to watch a ton of those when he was bored traveling. It was the easiest to find. But that didn't mean that he wanted to live through a scene like that. A lot of girls talked to him about their fight in the rain moment, but he hated the idea right then. All he wanted was to keep this man inside where he could enjoy his company. All he wanted was to have some peace with him, and enjoy the fun times. Mateo had already gone through one scare with Melvin, he wasn't about to deal with another one.

"How do you even know that you love me?" Melvin asked, his back was straightened, but his eyes were still burning. They didn't look like they were aiming those daggers at Mateo though, but rather that he was trying to stab himself with it. "Look at how we started, Mat. We absolutely hated each other. The only thing that made us get along was wanting to fuck."

"You can't even say that!" Mateo laughed at how ridiculous that was. "I mean sure, I wanted to fuck you during part of it, but you can't say that was what got us to get along when you literally comforted me bawling my eyes out!"

"That doesn't mean love, though!" Melvin said. "We barely even got to know each other, Mateo! This is moving so damn fast, when it might not even be real!"

"It's real to me!" He fought. "And I'm not going to let you stand there in the pouring fucking rain and tell me that this isn't real when I felt like I was going to lose my will to live if you wound up dying!"

That was not the best way to say it, but it came out anyway. Mateo felt like his heart had just been ripped open all over again having this conversation. But it was the only way he was going to get through to him. If Melvin thought that this was going to push him away, he had another thing coming. Mateo knew this man more than he thought. He knew that he was just pissed. He might not even mean half of this shit. Mateo knew this all too well because...

Because he had done this himself...too many times to count.

Melvin just stood there in the rain, staring at him. He was soaking wet now, but those eyes said it all. They went from angry and vicious to soft again, trying to battle something inside him. Mateo could only imagine what was going on in his head.

"You shouldn't think about dying just because of someone else," he finally said, the anger completely gone from his voice.

"Look who's one to talk," Mateo said, still a bit angry. "You literally decided to come out here and get yourself sick, try to smoke a cigarette when you just had a scare with fucking lung cancer, just because your dad decided to be an asshole. And my dad's an asshole too! Don't get me wrong! But I'm not going to make myself feel like worse shit by doing something that's going to kill me!"

This was probably the most advice Mateo was going to give to anyone in his life. He wasn't the best at it, but he was all worked up and worried about this man. And pissed that he would ever think that he didn't love him when he literally cared for him without so much as a question being asked about it.

So, instead of letting Melvin talk, Mateo went up to him again and grabbed his arm.

"So," he pulled him towards the house. "You're going to stop thinking about smoking, get back in the house and stop beating yourself up because there are plenty of people that love you, and he doesn't deserve your love anyway!"

It felt like he was talking to himself for a moment. Like he was saying words that he needed to hear for his own life. He hoped that his father never decided to call him. He would be much happier if he didn't. But if he did, he could picture himself in a similar situation. And he was sure that Melvin was pissed at him for pulling him inside, but he wasn't going to let him turn into what Mateo once was.

He got him inside and immediately went looking for a towel. He was freezing now, and he could only imagine Melvin being just as cold. He would probably set up a warm shower for them both just to make things easier. For now, though, he didn't want to track any water in that house.

As soon as he got a towel wrapped around Melvin, he wrapped it around Mateo as well, holding him tightly as his face disappeared into Mateo's shoulder.

"I love you too," he whispered into him. His whole weight was being put onto Mateo, yet he felt light at the same time. "More than I've ever loved anyone before in my life."