Impress Me Not: Neon Underground

Chapter 40

Mateo didn't even know where that came from. The session was so much tamer than when he was with Melvin. He would complain, but it was free. It was supposed to be just an easy thirty minutes as this girl went through the other tools lined up on the wall. Her hits were getting harder, but they didn't hurt still.

Instead, her words were. Mateo never thought that any words would. No one had ever made him cry like this. The last time he had cried was when he was younger, after his mother called him a disappointment for choosing a project for school that was more colorful rather than something that seemed more manly.

He had vowed to himself to never cry after that night. He supposed he broke that unspoken rule. Mateo didn't expect it. To be honest, he was hoping that no one would notice and he could just survive the session. Then he could just find some excuse to head home and deal with everything there. The last thing he wanted was for anyone to see him like this.

"It's okay. You're safe."

Those words struck him more than a knife in the chest. It broke something inside him that he had been trying to keep together for so many years. All the things that people had said to him over his whole life just came into his mind at that moment, only calmed when the man put his arms around him.

He couldn't remember a time when someone had just fucking hugged him. That was the strangest thing to think about. Sure, there were some times when he was dating that he would get a small hug, but no one had ever held him this tight. It felt like Melvin was keeping him together with his arms alone.

Mateo shouldn't be relying on him for this. He was a grown man, not a child. He was strong. He should handle this himself. All he needed to do was tell him that and then head for home. Mateo didn't know what was stopping him. He could just push those arms away, but they were stronger than him at the moment.

"Let it out," Melvin whispered to him. "It's going to be okay, Mateo."

It was the first time he spoke to him so softly. There was so much kindness in that voice. Mateo was a sucker for it. He was a sucker for this man no matter what he did to him. There was always something about him that kept Mateo coming back. He didn't realize what it was until right then.

He was attentive to him. He always knew what Mateo meant by every single action. He knew him, even when they were nothing but two strangers fighting each other.

That was why it shouldn't have been a surprise that he stopped Catalina when he did. Mateo was hoping that no one would see that tear that slipped out of his eye. It could have easily been a simple drop of sweat. But there was another part of him that wished for Melvin to notice.

Time stood still as he let all those tears out. It felt like it was all the tears that he had kept inside for his entire life. There wasn't enough energy left in his body to sort through all those memories. That was why he never wanted to think about anything. He never wanted to dive under the surface.

Now he had someone who not only pulled him down, but kept him from drowning at the same time.

He took some deep breaths, the tears finally stopping. Mateo tried to get out from those arms, but was gently brought back. It was sad for him to admit that he was too weak to fight against him. But he was. His whole body felt heavy.

"Here," Melvin whispered, handing him a bottle of water. "Drink."

"Is that an order?" Mateo asked, trying to make a joke through the pain.

"Only if you don't drink it," Melvin told him, his low voice soothing him. "We can stay here for as long as you want, but you aren't going to feel well if you're dehydrated."