Life is something you can't take for granted. Life is taken away so quickly in this world. Too quickly.
I often catch myself fantasizing about the life I could've had if they were still around. My brother, he was supposed to continue doing shows with me. I wanted him to come to my graduation. Hell, I wanted him in my wedding if I ever have one.
She had so much ahead of her. She was amazing on the Bari sax. She deserved getting into all region jazz. After our performance, I remember telling her she sounded like a snake charmer. No, we didn't always get along, but give credit where credit is due. She was someone who I looked forward to playing with. She made us sound so much better.
I think of Gammy. As much as I hate to say it, I think I may have already mourned the loss of her. I was close to my grandparents on my dad's side for many years. When you looked them up anywhere, I would come up with their pictures. I was always with them in the church directory. I grew up so close to them. Papaw passed away at eighty-nine back 2020. After that, Gammy went more downhill than I could've ever imagined. I wish she could call me by name. At eighty-one, she doesn't know who I am.
I think of my close friends at school. Jay and Jae, JRay, Teddy, Mari, Tory, Ave, and so many more. I care so much about these people, and if anything ever happened to them, I don't know what I'd do. I see them as some of the biggest parts of me. If I didn't have them, in pure honesty, I don't think I would still be here. My life took so many sharp turns this year, and I am so glad that I have all of them to help me along the way. I am forever grateful for them.
I think of my theater family. Both Will Y. and Will W., Arin, Emily, Lily, Isaiah, Keiren, Raymond, and so many more I have yet to meet. I see them as brothers, sisters, nieces, and stepdads. I love them so much I see them as family. I love them so much for being there. We have all been going through the same thing. I am so glad I have them, so I'm not alone in this.
And of course, Sis. Sis is someone who I see as a sister in any circumstance. She is amazing. I know that at any point I can count on her. I see a lot of myself in her. I love her. I can never thank her enough for everything. I am so grateful for her. To her, thank you for letting me cry on you after the funeral. I didn't think I would. I really tried not to. Thank you for texting and checking up on me after you left. Thank you for the day you got back and checked on me. Thank you for letting me talk about him. I think we both needed it, but it meant the world to me.
Thank you to these people. You make life worth living. God bless.
