Olsen's Trouble

Scared about your Life

⚠️ eating disorder

Ashley's Pov
"Sure go ahead." I said and I noticed Y/n hesitating, so I said: "You can tell me anything, really anything."
"Do you know why Lizzie always asks about what I ate? I- I mean it doesn't bother me and I shouldn't complain. But it... I sometimes think that she is uhm... afraid of something. And I don't know. Does she think I have an eating disorder or so? Because I- I don't, I love food. I just... Does she think that?" Y/n's voice was wavy and she was stuttering, not afraid to say it but afraid to say something wrong or to let it sound mean or wrong.

"Oh Y/n." I said, hating to see her so unsure and afraid. I know that she won't buy it, if I say that Lizzie is just worried. I know that I have to tell her the truth. I walked around the kitchen counter to sit next to Y/n on a barstool.

Her eyes followed me through the kitchen, watching me.
When I sat down on the chair next to her, I grabbed one of her nervous fiddling hands and looked at her.

"When we were younger, me and your mum were 17 and Lizzie was 15, Mary -your mum- had developed an eating disorder. She was very thin and was afraid to eat. She was underweight and the lack of food affected her health. It began with Lizzie seeing Mary throw up the food she had eaten, Lizzie was terrified and since she was young, she thought the best way to help is to tell my parents. It was the best way to help, MK would have lost consciousness soon, if we hadn't brought her to an hospital. MK was soooo mad. And then a month later she came back home from an environment which looks out for people with eating disorders. We thought that she was now better, but we were wrong.

And one day we left Mary home with Lizzie. Me and my parents, we left to go grocery shopping and after a few minutes we got a call with a panicked Lizzie on it. She told us that Mary fainted. We got her to an hospital and after that we got her a therapist and someone who guides her meal plan through her days. She got better and everything seemed normal.

But Lizzie was so damn scared, she loved cooking and eating. It was hard to understand for her, that somebody hates it. Since then she began to ask me or mom if we ate enough or cook us something if we haven't.

It got better, but Lizzie was still afraid of it, seeing skinny people or noticing people not eating at dinner or so.
And when we met you, she thought that you were underweight, which you were in some way, but not because you're afraid of eating but because of this stupid ass orphanage. Lizzie understood that and was fine with it, but when you fainted the other day, she was scared again. It brought her right back to your mum.

And that is why she is so worried, but it will get better. She'll ask less often when she sees that you are fine with eating. But at the moment just answer her questions, tell her when you are full or hungry and let her know when you eat something or so.
She is scared and she cares, so I beg you to just go with it."

Y/n just nodded. You could see in her eyes that she was still processing, I don't think Mary ever told her about her eating disorder.

The Pizza finished and we began to eat. Y/n didn't say anything, staring into the nothingness, so I tried to talk to her, at my first attempt of calling her name she hadn't heard me so I called her name again. This time her head snapped over to me and she apologized. "Don't eat yourself up, baby. Lizzie is fine and it wasn't your mums fault." She just nodded and continued to eat.

I was not so sure anymore, if I should have told her about it. Maybe I should have just said, that Lizzie is worried.

We moved after dinner to the couch and started to watch a funny movie, to lighten up her mood. After two more movies, I saw Y/n getting tired, so I suggested to go to bed.

Y/n went to the guest room and I made my way into my room. I got changed and sat down on my bed. I got my iPad out and began to draw. Y/n inspires me, I wanted to draw/make something that practically screams Y/n.

After around an hour, I put my iPad away and wanted to turn off the light, when I heard a knock.
I let Y/n in and patted my bed, so that she could sit down. "Are you alright, baby?" I asked, she was now sitting next to me on the bed, playing with the fabric of my blanket.

"I didn't mean to scare Lizzie. I didn't know it would hurt her in any way. I'm so sorry." Y/n said, a tear falling from her eye.
"It wasn't your fault Y/n. None of it is or was your fault. You didn't know you would faint, Ms Koldrick is guilty, she didn't give you any food. It is her fault, not yours. So please, don't feel guilty." I pulled her to me, so I could wrap my arms around her.
She nodded and said: "Thank you, Ashley." "Just the truth, little bean." I said with a smile and she quickly looked at me, but soon a smile was shown, she wasn't able to hide it anymore.
She cuddled more into me and after a few minutes I felt her sinking into me. She fell asleep and I soon did too.