Olsen's Trouble

Breathe.

⚠️ panic attack

Y/n's Pov
Tyler sat down, and laid his arm around my back.
The two lessons were horrible. He didn't stop touching me and he whispered weird things in my ear all the time. I wanted to puke, I wanted to cry, I wanted to run.

The class finally ended and I walked out only to be followed by Tyler. I was about to run, when he grabbed my arm and said: "Not this time, babe. You come with me." He had a strong grip on my arm and was pulling me along the hall to the doors that lead outside.

"But... But I really need to talk to Mrs Andèraz! She expects it maybe even!" I said and he turned around and stopped walking. He looked at me, unsere if I was telling the truth. Somehow he believed me and soon we were walking to the library.

We walked inside and there was Mrs standing, locking eyes with me when we headed to her.

Mrs Andèraz's Pov
I locked eyes with Y/n when she and Tyler made their way over to me. "Make it quick." Tyler snorted angrily and looked at Y/n.

Her eyes turned scared and she looked back at me. Her hands met in front of her and began to fiddle while she spoke: "I... I wanted to talk to you Mrs... uhm about... uhh..." She didn't know what to say and I saw Tyler getting impatient with her.

I needed to help her and that quick: "OH! About the role for the play. Of course!" She nodded and I continued: "How about we discuss this in private. Tyler! You're welcome to read a book while you wait." I laid a hand on Y/n's shoulder and smiled at Tyler. "Ugh! I'm not reading this stupid shit." He angrily exclaimed and left the library.

Y/n didn't look at him, she just stared at the ground, so I lead her into a small office of the library.

She sat down in front of me and I asked: "So are you going to tell me, what I just had witnessed or...?"
She sighed and said: "It was nothing. We just had a fight and I needed to get away from him."
Now that was bullshit. She wouldn't just come here, hoping for my help, only to 'get away' from him because they had a fight.

Yes, she definitely wanted to get away from him, but not just because of a fight. There is more. Not just a wavy teenage relationship.

"I know that's not true. You don't have to tell me. But I beg you to tell someone, your mom or dad, a friend, a teacher or even the principal. You are not alone!" I said while looking at her, she nodded and thanked me.

Y/n's Pov
I was about to leave, when Mrs said: "But I still would like to talk about the role you maybe play." I sighed, afraid to stay. She saw right through my lie, she knew something was up. But it was my fault, I made her talk to me. If I wouldn't have been so scared to hang out with Tyler. None of it would've happened.

I moved my hand away from the door handle and walked back to the chair and sat down.
"About the role. I didn't chose you to play the main character because she is gay. I don't even know if you're gay. I just think that from the personality you are similar to each other.
Lyanna (the role) is also very kind, friendly and polite but she is also a bit lonely and isolated. She is smart and curious. She likes to read and she also plays violin. Mr Karl told me that you play violin and I thought that you would fit really well. I didn't mean to offend you,  Y/n. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way."

I felt really ashamed. Maybe Mrs Andèraz never thought that I was gay and I just made a scene. I made a big deal, about playing the role, that could make people think that I am gay. I'm just a coward. A coward who was embarrassed, that people would think different of me. A coward, who can't speak up or against horrible people. A coward, who uses violence to protect, because she can't even talk. A coward, who couldn't even move from the spot, when he hurt my mother. Just a damn coward.

I was at the verge of tears, so I quickly mumbled an apology and made my way out of the library into a girls bathroom. I heard the bell ring and I walked into a stall and closed the door.

I fell to the ground, and my hands began to shake and tears fell from my face.
My breath became quicker and quicker with every second and my chest tightened. I can't breathe.
My vision got blurry, because of all the tears and sobs escaped my mouth. And I can't breathe.
I tightly wrapped my arms around my legs in hopes to stop the shaking, but it wasn't working and everything was tense.
My mind full with fears, if I can't breathe soon, then I'll pass out. Why can't I calm down? I CAN'T BREATHE.

I opened my bag and pulled everything out, to find my phone. The floor was a mess. I finally found it and quickly clicked on contacts and called Ashley.
I tried to take deep breaths, but at this point I could only wheeze air in. And that wasn't enough oxygen. After a few rings Ashley picked up and I was relieved for a second
(Y/n / Ashley)

Hey darling. Don't you have school? Is everything alright?

Baby, what's going on? Are you there?

Ash... I can't.
I hadn't had enough air to finish the sentence.

What do you can't? Y/n, you're scaring me.

I... I can't breathe.
I heard cursing from the other end and I only got scared more.

Okay. Baby, I need you to listen. You need to take deep breaths.
I cried louder, desperate for it all to stop. Deep breaths? That's impossible right now.

Sweetheart, I love you. I need you to try.
She loves me? Do I really mean that much to her?
In..... and out..... and in..... and out..... ...
I followed her instructions and at the beginning it was impossible, but after a while it was getting better.

That's good, darling.
You're doing great, you almost got it.
She continued to guide me and after a few minutes I got my breathing back to normal.

Are you-
Ashely was about to ask me something when I heard someone asking for her, but Ashley just said sternly: "I'm having an important phone call. Please, give me a few minutes."
The person apologized and left.

Baby?
I hummed as an answer.
Can you tell me what this panic attack was about?
I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to lie, but I also don't want her to know the truth.

There was just this boy. He was mean and then I thought about mum and everything just collapsed.

Is he bullying you? What did he say?

It's fine, it was just this one time.
Ashley didn't seem convinced, but she let it slide.

Mhm. Are you alright, baby?

Yeah, I'm just a bit shaken and Lizzie will probably be mad because I skipped class.

She won't, hun. Just tell her the truth and she won't be mad.

O-okay. I have to go now, Ash.
I looked at my phone and saw that class will be over in 10 minutes and I still needed to freshen myself up. I looked like a baby. Face red like a tomato and tear stains all over the face.

Alright, little bean. Take care and call me if anything is wrong. I love you.
There. She said it again. Does she really mean it?

I will. I love you too.