The Younger Agent - Natasha Romanoff x OC

Chapter 124 - It's All Wrong

She couldn't fucking breathe.

Her lungs just weren't drawing in a breath, they weren't fucking working. Everything felt wrong, it was all wrong. Her hands felt wrong, her face felt wrong, her vision felt wrong.

So many people had just disappeared in front of them, they were too late, they failed. It was all wrong.

She felt vibrations through her knees, through the dirt. Footsteps. Through blurry vision, as she fought to draw a breath through her lungs, she saw Nat, who had finally reached her destination as she dropped to the floor beside her wife. Eleanor could only register murmurs of sound as Natasha clutched her face within her hands, checking her over.

This felt right, her hands felt right. Everything was still wrong, but this was right. She breathed, her lungs worked again. "-you dropped next to Wanda and I thought you were gonna go too-", Natasha rushed out before stalling as she fully registered what Steve was now staring at. Eleanor was kneeling next to a very dead Vision.

They failed.

Eleanor sniffled a little, her eyes taking everything in. Vision was greyed out, a maroon colour, not his normal red. He was too still, everyone was too still. The remaining alive people were all looking at him, or staring blankly elsewhere. Eleanor took everyone in, everyone looked tired. Steve had even taken it upon himself to sit down next to Vision as he panted, staring ahead. It had been a while since Steve lost, even on the run he still managed to remain Captain America, still managed to save people. This was the first time he'd really lost as Captain America.

Natasha stared at Vision. Now she knew that Eleanor wasn't turning into dust too, she seemed to be taking it all in. Her hand clutched at her stomach, rubbing the fabric of the vest that Yelena had given her. Eleanor wondered if she was okay.

Nat's breathing had picked up, her mouth was just agape, pure disbelief. Eleanor shook a little as she looked where Wanda was. Where she had been just moments ago. She puffed out some air between her lips, trying to hold back wracking sobs, using her breathing as a barrier, she didn't want to be the one that broke down, didn't want to be the one everyone had to look after in their own grief.

So she looked back at her wife, lips pressed together as she took in the trembling of her features. She'd not seen her this broken for a while. Not since the early days of SHIELD, when she was still battling shadows of the red room. Eleanor didn't like seeing her like this.

She swallowed, trying to stop her mouth being so dry, and she scooted forward a little, their legs now touching. With a shaky breath, Nat looked away from Vision as they locked eyes. She bit her lip a little as she looked at Eleanor, a hand leaving hers to snake up and clutch the back of her head, bringing her into her neck, holding her there. She needed to feel her. It felt right.

"We'll be okay", she murmured against Eleanor's hair. Eleanor could only nod, she didn't really have the strength to reply. She wanted everyone back.

She wanted Wanda back.

—

They raced home. The Wakandans wanted privacy to mourn their dead. No one even knew if the dusted people really were dead or not yet, but that was besides the point. They were given a goodbye, a thanks for fighting the good fight even if they lost, before boarding the quinjet they arrived in. It was empty in comparison to when they arrived. It was just... them, Rhodey, Steve, and Bruce.

No one talked, no one looked at each other. Not even Eleanor and Natasha could seem to look at each other anymore. Eleanor knew she would just cry if she looked at her, and she promised herself she wasn't going to. Not yet. So, she watched as Natasha flew the quinjet back home. Usually, that would be autopilots job, but she needed to do something, to stop herself from crumbling down. She would occasionally glance at Eleanor next to her, but she only saw the other woman staring at the controls, so she herself stared ahead at the sky.